


Yours Truly

by kitestrings



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-17
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 17:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 26,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitestrings/pseuds/kitestrings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>("I hope this letter finds you safe and happy, wherever you may be.") -- a series of letters exchanged between Penelo and Larsa, post game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letter One

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just moving this fic from fanfiction.net, don't mind me. :) I'll post chapters on a regular basis, mostly based on the magnitude of response. Thanks for reading, enjoy!

_Dear Penelo,_

 _I am glad to say that your letter found me safe and content in my home in Archades, and I hope this letter finds you the same, wherever you may be._

 _I am happy to hear that you and Vann are doing well. I must admit, I had been worried about him for a while, but it seems that you have him under control, the maverick that he is. But that is what partners are for, aren't they?_

 _Archades has been much more peaceful, since the end of the war. Due to the fact that we are no longer spending money on airships, ammunition and artillery, we have been working on making safe accommodations for those living in Old Archades. They were uncooperative in the beginning, wary of dealing with the Empire, but we slowly have changed their minds. For now, that is our goal: simply to make a new and better name for the Empire, and clean the hands of all of Archades._

 _I was glad to receive your letter, for although we are doing much good within the Empire and outside of it, being on the throne is terribly lonely, sometimes. For my own safety, I am to be kept within the castle, until the bitter feelings for the Empire have died down more. Time seems to move slow, compared to the events of a year ago._

 _Basch is doing well, also, and he wishes me to have you pass on that he misses the Lady Ashe, as well. Sometimes I think he gets bored and restless of being Judge Magister, for the job isn't quite as eventful as it was when my brother Vayne was in power. I think he misses the thrill of adventure that we experienced so long ago, and I admit that I too grow tired of the endless routines of the life of royalty. There are times that even I, as Lord Larsa and ruler of the Empire, wish to fly in the skies as free as a sky pirate, free of responsibility and obligations. Everything is so proper here, and there are times when I wish it wasn't so._

 _I am looking forward to seeing you at the coronation ceremony, as well. Of all the cities in Ivalice, I really do enjoy being in Rabanastre, for it bustles with life and diversity. So many races in one city, it is really a sight to see. I am sure Ashe will be grateful to be coroneted, but I am sure it will bring back painful memories of her father and Lord Rasler. I understand her pain now, having lost both a father and a brother myself. If you don't mind me saying, I would suggest that you go see her some time, Penelo. You are one of the few people in the whole city of Rabanastre that she can be herself around, and although she may never admit it, she needs some time to be herself._

 _I must announce to you, as well, that I reached my thirteenth birthday last month. Basch and I had a little celebration, but no one else within the palace seemed to want to participate. They walk with their noses in the air, too afraid of doing anything that might make them look foolish. I certainly don't feel any different, but Basch tells me that there is a new kind of regard that comes with being a teenager. Perhaps I am exempt, being born into royalty._

 _There are times when I look upon the teenagers of Archades and just wish that I could be like them, be normal, and be free. So I must admit that I look upon your and Vaan's freedom, especially, with great envy. To be able to go wherever you choose, whenever you choose, and not have to worry about your political stance, or whether someone will try to assassinate you if you leave your home. I must advise you to appreciate your freedom, for all it is worth._

 _So I send this letter off to you, Penelo, and hope it finds you happy and optimistic as ever, with the advice not to get in too much trouble, for I don't know what I would do if you ever got hurt. So embrace your freedom, but with caution._

 _Yours truly,_

 _Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	2. Letter Two

_Dear Larsa,_

_I'm glad that you could find time to reply to my letter. I'm sure you're awful busy up there in Archades, changing the world. Sure, things are busy here too, but not near as important as what you're doing._

_You're right about Vaan. He's just as ambitious as ever, always pursuing our next prize, and sometimes I'm on a whole other adventure, all over again. But I always take the time to remember the adventure of a year ago, because it was that adventure that changed my life, and it will never quite be the same. Every now and then, I seem to pretend that things are the way they used to be, that the Empire never attacked, and my parents aren't dead, but truly, my life was forever changed. Sure, sometimes it's been painful, but when I look back, my life has been changed for the better, and you have been a part of it._

_I wanted to let you know that I've always wondered: What if you hadn't come to save me? How would my life have been changed if you hadn't rescued me? I don't want to think about it, really, but it makes me all the more grateful that you did what you did, Larsa, and that you are who you are. So by whatever greater force created this world, I'm glad you played a part in my adventure._

_And I wish I could go and keep you company up in Archades. I understand how it must be painful to live alone, up there, after all the adventure we had a year ago. But ever since Balthier took the Strahl back, Vaan and I have been stuck in Rabanastre, and it would be quite a trek on foot. Vaan doesn't know, but I've been saving some of our gil for an airship pass, and I hope to come see you some time._

_Oh, I forgot to tell you! I went and saw Ashe a few days ago, like you told me I should. You were right, she almost didn't let me in at first, but eventually I convinced her that it was for her own good. We ended up having a great time, and we bonded well over tea and "girl talk". After hanging out with Vaan all the time, sometimes I forget what it's like to be around girls my own age. I learned that she misses Lord Rasler greatly, that she thinks about him every day, and that she worries about getting remarried. It turns out that her advisors have already had suitors come and court her, but she has rejected every single one. She's very set in her ways, that Ashe, and I don't think she'll settle to marry anyone unless she is truly in love with them. She may be young, for a queen, but she is really, really wise, and is every bit the leader her father must have wanted her to be._

_But talking with Ashe made me wonder a little bit about myself, too. It made me think about—Vaan. It's hard to tell exactly when, but sometime during our adventure a year ago, I decided that I was in love with Vaan, the boy I had always regarded as a brother, whom I had admired since childhood. But while I had my eyes on him, he had his eyes to the skies, and never stopped dreaming of becoming a sky pirate, tied down to no one. And lately, I have been wondering: is it possible that my love for him isn't what I thought it was? Is it possible that I really do love him as an older brother figure, a protector, an equal? I'm sorry for putting all this on you, Larsa. With Vaan leaving to go meet Balthier and Fran, I've had a lot on my mind. And I know that you, Larsa, are a great listener, and you give great advice. Honestly, it's kind of hard to believe that you're only thirteen. Congratulations, by the way, on your thirteenth birthday. We'll have to make sure and celebrate it once you come to Rabanastre, or I have enough gil to fly to Archades._

_I recognize and I understand what you're feeling, that need for freedom. And I know what it is, because I saw it in Vaan, ever since his brother left for war, three long years ago. I nicknamed it the 'caged bird' syndrome, because all you want to do is get out. But there is one big difference between you and Vaan. Vaan cured his case by not playing by the rules. He would fight rats in the sewers, would steal from the Imperials, and eventually snuck through the Waterway to raid the Royal Palace. So my advice to you, although it isn't near as wise or thoughtful as the advice you gave me, is to bend the rules a little bit. Put on a disguise and sneak out into the city. (After all, it's not like they can put you in jail, or anything.) Basch would probably help you out with that, too. But whatever you need to do to fly free, Larsa, do it, because you are Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, and you can do anything._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	3. Letter Three

_Dear Penelo,_

_Please, do not be hesitant to tell me of your tribulations and deliberations. It comforts me to know that I am not the only one dealing with a raging inner turmoil, because sometimes I feel very, very alone. I promise you that if you trust your heart, Penelo, as you always have, that you will surely be guided in the right direction, even if things look unclear now._

_This may sound strange, but I really do appreciate you telling me of your troubles. First of all, I am honored that you trust me with such privileged thoughts, your innermost feelings. Secondly, it's not very often that I get to deal with a real person. Sure, I deal with people, I deal with Archadian citizens, but all I get to see is the show that they put on for Lord Larsa. It's not very often that I get to be around people who are actually being themselves, and I kind of miss that._

_I'm glad to hear that Balthier is traveling the skies once more, but I am disappointed that you don't have access to an airship to travel, yourself. I feel selfish, asking you to visit me, but I'm feeling a little desperate. I really do miss you, Penelo, and I will await the chance to see you once more, whether it is by airship or at the ceremony in a few weeks time. I, among many others, do believe that Ashe will live up to the legacy of the Dynast-King, and begin a new age of peace, glory and prosperity for not only Dalmasca, but work side-by-side with the leaders of the other regions and countries of Ivalice to keep that age from ever ending. But this time leading up to her coronation must be horribly stressful and nerve-racking for your new Queen, so I am grateful that you paid her a visit, for hers and your sake too, Penelo. The fact that she is still pained by the loss of her husband does not surprise me at all, because everyone who met the couple, even before they were married, simply knew that despite their arranged marriage, they were in love. In truth, sometimes I worry about marriage. My advisors, too, have spoken to me about getting married, but I, like Ashe, have rejected the idea. Not for political reasons, but because it doesn't seem right to marry at the tender age of thirteen, even for political gain. And, truthfully, I think that if I ever marry, I would certainly marry for love, because marriage is sacred and not to be taken lightly. I must say, Ashe has the right idea._

_I flush at the thought of how brave and noble you think of me, when it seems as though I've deceived you. I haven't really been the hero of this tale, if you ask me. I've simply stepped into the right place, at the right time, and did what I thought was right. I didn't think, I acted purely on instinct and emotions. Politically, what I did was irrational, because I acted not for my own personal gain, but to help someone else. And I believe that if everyone decided to reach out and help someone who's in trouble, we could fix all of the problems in the world, if people are just willing to do the right thing. And how can I get my point across, if I'm being hypocritical? So, Penelo, not to insult your way of thinking of me, but to tell you the truth, I did what any person in their right mind would do._

_Your passage about Vaan, it made me think, as well. I examined myself for a moment, and realized that I am a naïve boy of thirteen, and I know very little in the matters of love. But I must pass on to you exactly what I know: I know that sometimes, love is not meant to be seen, or heard, or even understood. Love is a feeling, so it is meant to be felt. And there comes a time in everyone's life when they question their relationships and exactly how they feel. You are strong, and I am sure you will pull through. As I have said before, continue trusting your heart, Penelo, and you will be just fine in the end. I am honored that you think of me as a good listener. I would certainly like to celebrate my birthday when we meet again, although I'm not quite sure what your celebration would entail. Between you and me, Basch let me try some serpentwyne on my birthday, and I certainly did not enjoy it._

_I should probably also tell you of my adventures around the castle as I dutifully followed your advice. Last week, I stole one of the judge's helmets and wore it to dinner every night, and I still hadn't figured out how they eat in those things. During lessons, I wrote my words backwards and thus forced my tutor to decipher my research paper. And just yesterday, (with Basch's help, as you suggested) I snuck into the city, bought a cockatrice and set it free in the castle. (Basch didn't know about the cockatrice part, but it was funny to see half a dozen judges chasing a cockatrice down the hallway.)_

_So, as always, be free but cautious, and don't forget to keep trusting your heart._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	4. Letter Four

_Dear Larsa,_

_I'm glad to know that you don't think of my troubles as frivolous compared to yours, even though they are. You have the fate of an entire country in your hands, yet you take the time to listen to my troubles about love, of all things. I must say that whoever you marry will be one lucky girl, and I hope she knows it, because you deserve someone wonderful, Larsa._

_After reading your letter, I wanted to let you know that I am definitely myself around you, as well as when I write to you, and I promise that I will never put up a show for you, no matter how high your power._

_I visited Ashe again, just yesterday, and she didn't try to shut me out this time. She let me in gratefully, and we explored the castle together and stayed up talking and giggling all night. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that she is Queen. As normal people, we think that someone in power is perfect, inhuman and without flaws, but in truth, people like you and Ashe are just as human as the rest of us. I told her about our correspondence, and she asked if Basch had mentioned anything about her. She won't admit to any feelings for him, but after Lord Rasler, I think it will be a while before she falls in love again. Wounds like that—don't always heal so easily._

_I was slightly surprised to find that your advisor had, well, advised that you get married. After all, you're only thirteen! You have the rest of your life ahead of you. You should be in no hurry to get married, until you find the person you truly love._

_Vaan left for the Dalmasca Estersand this morning, shortly after I arrived from my visit at the Royal Palace. He said that he needed to get out of Rabanastre for a while, and so he would travel to the village we once visited a year ago. He took his sword and shield with him, to fight the monsters leading up to the village. Since Vaan earned our money by doing odd jobs and stealing, I had to scrounge around for money to buy more paper and ink, for my stash was running low. I don't have a job myself, and I hate this dependency on Vaan to provide for me, so I am considering taking on a job at the Royal Palace. I'll get to spend more time with Ashe, and I will independently provide for myself. It's strange, after meeting with her two times, I now consider Ashe my closest friend. Sure, Vaan has been there for me since childhood, whenever I need it, but it's different, spending time with a girl my own age. And Vaan, well, he's been growing more and more distant from me, lately. This is the third time he's traveled to the Estersand village in a month and a half, so I'm pretty sure he's found a girl there. But strangely enough, I'm okay with that. If he has found a girl, I'm happy for him. As his partner, I only tie him down, but he needs someone just a flighty and free as he is._

_Larsa, I have to tell you that I think you every bit as brave and noble as you deny. You could have left me there, in that prison, without a second thought, and gone on your way and forgotten me. But you took the harder path, and took me under your wing. It was because of you that my feelings of the war began to change. When I learned that you, my knight in shining armor, my rescuer, when I learned that you belonged to House Solidor, I was shocked. I had seen the world in black and white, back then, and I had branded House Solidor as evil at the very start of the war. But you taught me about good intentions, and how nothing is ever pure good or pure evil. But when you saw my skepticism, you got down on one knee and promised to protect me and keep me safe from harm. And even though that promise came from a small, naïve twelve year old boy, you followed through and protected me, when I needed protection the most._

_You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, Larsa. You may be young, but that doesn't stop you from being wise. From what you told me, you know an awful lot about love. More than I do, I think. But I know that you are right, and love isn't always meant to be understood. So I will go on feeling, and trusting my heart, and not deliberate on how I feel about—(here something was blotted out)—the people around me. Surly I will be lead in the right direction, and maybe then I will understand. I don't think you have to understand to love, but you have to love to understand._

_I am glad that you are beginning to enjoy yourself in Archades, after all. Wow, I wish I could have seen those judges chasing a cockatrice! They certainly must have looked undignified, like they always fear._

_When Vaan gets back from the Estersand, we'll begin preparations to meet Balthier and Fran in the Strahl. I used to be excited about going, but all of a sudden, I'm not really sure if I want to leave, or not. I complain about being stuck in Rabanastre, but to me, really, it is home. I hope to see you soon, by whatever means._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	5. Letter Five

_Dear Penelo,_

_To tell you the truth, I hadn't thought much of love and marriage until you brought it to mind. But anticipating the future is important, if I don't want to be caught off guard. I must say that even if I wanted to, I would not be getting married any time soon. Many girls my age and older have been in to meet the "noble Lord Larsa", but all find me very out of the ordinary, too much to understand. Do you think of me as out of the ordinary?_

_I accept your pledge of honesty with a smile on my face, and I am glad that you promised me such. As people of nobility, we are expected to keep up these appearances of flawlessness, perfection and act as though we don't have our own feelings or desires, and all we think of is three things: our country, our power and our wealth. Keeping up such appearances is trivial and tedious, and not worth the effort._

_It is good to know that you and Ashe are bonding, for I fear that if left without bonds and ties to her kingdom, Ashe would become even more distant than she had been. You can pass on to the Lady that every time I open and read a letter from you, Basch asks about Ashe. 'How is Ashe doing?' 'Is Ashe okay?' 'Did Penelo say if anyone was courting Ashe?' It's kind of strange, but I really do think he loved her, and would rather serve in her court than my own. But, alas, he must fulfill his promise to his brother, and serve me. He may suffer from the distance between them, but distance makes the heart grow fonder, and Ashe needs some time to heal, as you said. Maybe something will happen when they meet for the coronation ceremony in two week's time._

_Vaan's sense of adventure is surely contagious, and I dearly hope he has found a lifetime companion that is as adventurous as he is. But to be truthful, I consider you, Penelo, my closest friend. It had seemed that my part in the story of you and your friends was over, but your first letter let me know that you didn't want to distance from me, not completely. I consider that a great mark of our friendship, Penelo, and your overall sense of loyalty to anyone you meet. It's not very often that I get to lay out exactly how I feel, even it is on paper. So in truth, you are the one who sees farthest into my mind, as well as my heart. I must admit, that when I first laid eyes on you, I did not foresee that I would know you this well, and you I._

_I encourage you to take a job in the Royal Palace. With the coronation ceremony coming up, they'll need all the help they can get, and I'm sure they'd be glad to give you a job. And I'm sure Ashe would appreciate the company. And it will not only pay in gil, but it will show Vaan that you can provide for yourself, and give yourself a sense of independency. Who knows? Without you to provide for, Vaan might move to the Estersand to be with that girl he met. Vaan's story is taking an interesting path, if you ask me._

_I am glad that I have been a positive force in your life, Penelo. I'm glad that I had the chance to show you that sometimes, things aren't always black and white. And I am truly honored that you think of me as your 'rescuer' or even a 'knight in shining armor', because no one has ever thought of me that way before. Or, at least, not that I've ever been told. And I want you to know that I didn't take that promise lightly, I never have, and I never will. When I made that promise a year ago, I meant it. I will protect you from harm, until the day I die._

_I must admit that I am envious once more, but of your genuine feelings. Whatever you feel, don't doubt the authenticity. Whatever you feel is real, and I can feel it, from your words. I can still hear your voice, even a year later, rushing through my ears, reading your letter to me. Your feelings really speak through your words, and I must say that I envy you once more. I hope to see you soon, so maybe I can hear your voice again, for real._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	6. Letter Six

_Dear Larsa,_

_It's strange, what you said at the end of your letter. Although I would never have admitted it on my own, I hear your voice, too. It's so exciting, whenever I get a letter from you, and the first time I read it through is always so magical. Whenever I read through it, again and again, it's almost as if I can feel you beside me, wherever I am. Whatever the circumstances, when I read your letters, I feel your presence, keeping me safe from harm, as you promised. And maybe, in a way, you are._

_Vaan returned from the Estersand sooner than I had expected, but I quickly found out why. He brought back with him a sick and wounded traveler, a reddish Bangaa who was barely clinging to life. He decided to postpone his trip and to care for the wounded traveler instead, but he needed my help._

_I have been tending to said Bangaa in our small Lowtown apartment since Vaan brought him back. He doesn't seem all that wealthy and carried naught of value except for a small antique golden pocket watch around his neck, and won't part with it for anything. We haven't had a chance to talk to him yet, but I believe that he is a pilgrim, perhaps traveling to Mt. Bur-Omisace from somewhere in the west. He has been coughing, and wheezing since Vaan brought him two days ago, and his fever hasn't broke yet. Lucky for him, he has remained unconscious, and has felt little of the pain, due to some herbal remedies I was able to pull together. It appears that he had been attacked by a fierce monster in the Estersand, for he sustained claw injuries on the right side of his chest and his left arm, as though he had lifted it to defend himself. He wasn't carrying a weapon with him, so it is a wonder he even survived the attack, never mind what would have happened to him if Vaan hadn't been traveling in that direction._

_This may seem like the pointless news of Rabanstre here, but I'm getting to the point of telling you my story. So Vaan had showed up at our door with this sick and wounded traveler, expecting me to care for this creature that was barely hanging on. I felt like refusing, saying that it wasn't my job to take in any one who got wounded in the Estersand, and that if we helped any sick traveler, we would be broke. I thought about turning him away, and telling him to use the traveler's money to check into a hospital, but then I thought back to your letter that I had received that morning. 'What would Larsa do?' I thought. I decided to take him in, because you would have deemed it 'the right thing to do', that I was 'putting the needs of others before my own'. Our nameless traveler has made some small improvements: the bleeding has slowed, the coughing is less, but the fever still worries me. So, to sum it all up, you may have saved the life of an Estersand traveler, by teaching me a valuable lesson._

_This reminds me: I haven't taken the chance to tell you of our living quarters. Vaan and I share a small house in Lowtown, the dregs underneath the noble city of Rabanstre. It's strange how he can call it home, when he is never here._

_Vaan brought back some fish from the lake in the Estersand oasis. The fish in the Muthru Bazaar do nothing but smell bad, goodness knows where they get them from. I have never liked fish, and the ones from the Estersand oasis tasted even worse than the ones in the Bazaar smelled. Honestly, who would trust fish from a desert, anyway? But Vaan insisted, and he's drying them in our home, determined to find a way that I'll eat them. I think he's trying to make it up to me for being gone so much, but he's stubborn enough that he can't just be forward and apologize._

_I think that after I finish penning this letter, I will march over to the Royal Palace and ask for a job. If Vaan intends to make a living selling_ fish, _I think it's time I earn some gil for myself. Your approval—means a lot to me. I have been thinking, ever since I wrote to you, and especially after I got your most recent letter, on who really is my closest friend. The moment I asked myself, I knew. I was wrong. Ashe, though close we are, isn't my closest friend. I believe that you are. I don't put my thoughts on this paper, Larsa, I put my_ heart. _I don't think, I_ act. _I don't understand, I_ feel

_I miss you greatly, and I can't wait to feel your presence beside me once more, only—for real._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	7. Letter Seven

_Dear Penelo,_

_Even though we are far apart, I truly think of you as my companion, and I like to believe that you, too, are with me wherever I go, no matter the circumstances. When the postman comes to our door every morning, I always answer, and hope for a letter from you. If there is a letter from you, the postman smiles in a way that I always recognize, and I get excited. He has begun to recognize, himself, your handwriting and what it means to me. But whenever there is not a letter from you, he shakes his head sadly and says, "Not today, my lord," as he hands me the rest of the mail._

_I am glad to hear that such a traveler is now under your care, for I remember from our adventure that you are very wise in the way of medicine and remedies. From your letter, I can tell you are apt in the way of caring and hospitality for the sick and wounded, as well as very knowledgeable. Sometimes, I think Vaan doesn't give you enough credit for who you really are, Penelo. He may simply consider you his partner, but you are your own independent person, and don't forget that._

_Honestly, I must say you surprised me when you said you took the traveler in because of me. But I don't think you have it exactly right. I think that you had the right instincts inside of you all along, the desire to help, serve and do the right thing, and maybe I just helped awaken that, a year ago._

_I chuckled when I read your letter, for I have never had a liking for fish, myself. Since childhood, I deemed them as far too slimy and slippery to possibly eat, let alone fish from a desert. Even fish caught in the purest waters of the Phon Coast still taste nasty, if you ask me. I am glad to hear that Vaan is making an effort to make it up to you, and I think he cares more about you than you think. Because although Vaan may not be a caged bird anymore, he is still searching for himself, and who he really wants to be. I understand what it is like, to grow up in your brother's shadow, but when that brother is gone, it's hard, sometimes, to take on your own identity and face the light yourself. Vaan has lost so much to the war, like all of us, that he is still searching for the most important thing: himself. Perhaps, perhaps I know this, because I am searching for myself, as well._

_After the cockatrice escapade, the Judges and the Senate decided that they would let me out to wander the city for a while today, but I had to take a guard with me. That was fine, though, because I took Basch and I was out in a moment. I had almost forgotten how beautiful the city looks in the summer, and it was almost breathtaking. I visited all kinds of shops and asked people about what they thought of the new Empire. A lot of people are happy with how I am handling things, but not all. I suspect that more people criticize me than those who were brave enough to tell me in person, but it's impossible to know something like that. I have found that one of the hardest things about being politically involved is facing more criticism than I can handle, sometimes. But I find that it's best just to walk, speak, and act confidently, because if you believe in yourself, people will believe in you too._

_We are beginning preparations around the castle to travel to Rabanastre for Ashe's coronation. We're taking an airship flight, but everyone can't seem to help but fuss over every single detail of my trip, from my hotel arrangements down to the clothes I'm packing. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if they realize that I can think for myself. At first, the Judges and the Senate were horrified at finding that I had made arrangements to stay at the Sandsea, but I insisted that I stay there, and that I would take Basch with me. I think it will be good for him to go to Rabanastre once more, and to see Ashe again. I sometimes wonder if I will be able to convince him to come_ back, _after being in Dalmasca and seeing Ashe._

_I can't seem to put words together quite the right way to exactly describe how I feel. I would like to say 'I am honored that you believe me to be such a close friend,' or 'I appreciate that you think of me like that,', but nothing seems to come close to how I feel. I would like to call you my companion, my partner, my correspondence, but none of the words seem right._

_Do me a favor, and spend some time with Vaan. I don't think he realizes how lucky he is, to have you as a companion and a partner._

_Is it selfish, to want to take his place, or for you to be here with me?_

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	8. Letter Eight

_Dear Larsa,_

_Because nothing ever seems to go as planned, I write to you not from the airship, but from my Lowtown home: sick, cold and alone._

_Our sick traveler had improved greatly two days ago, the fever had broken and he was awake, so with our permission, he scurried off to wherever he came from, or wherever he was going. I was slightly disappointed that we hadn't been compensated for our trouble, but it wasn't like he had anything to compensate us with, anyway._

_But it was yesterday that I began coughing. At first, I thought it was just dust and an indication that I needed to clean out our apartment. So as Vaan began the final preparations to leave for our rendezvous point with Balthier, I cleaned, but the coughing only got worse. I soon began getting chills, and although I spent an hour on the city streets in the summer sun, nothing seemed to help. Shaking, coughing and feverish, I went to lie down, and woke up this morning to find that Vaan had left, without even waking me up. I felt abandoned, like I wasn't worth the trouble, so I got up and began walking around Lowtown, just to make sure that he was gone. After fifteen minutes, I collapsed right there in the streets of Lowtown, and it was our postman who found me and brought me home._

" _You look awful, Penelo," He had said. And he was right, I was deathly pale and my eyes were bloodshot. "Do you want me to go get Vaan?" He asked, but I chocked back,_

" _Vaan left—he left to meet a friend of ours."_

" _Where is he?" the postman had asked._

" _Heading for Nalbina Town…" And I felt more abandoned than ever. The postman saw your letter to me, and he asked if I had a reply yet. I admitted that we had no funds left, after preparing for our trip, and I was out of paper and ink. So I write this to you now on paper the postman let me have, because I think he feels sorry for me. I'm having trouble thinking, and focusing._

_I think I got whatever disease the traveler had, but I am out of money. I can't believe Vaan left…it just doesn't seem right. I have some of the leftover herbs from when I cared for the Bangaa traveler, and I fear they are the only thing keeping me alive, right now. I can't let myself fall asleep…The postman left a while ago without a word, but he left his bag of mail, so I think he's coming back._

_Oh, Larsa, why do I feel so alone? I wish you were here with me now. All that Vaan can see is his own ambitions, his own desires. He just keeps moving forward, when I'm so afraid I'm going to be left behind…_

_The postman returned, and he brought some medicines from the town. He explained to me that Bangaa's immune systems are hardier and stronger than Humes, so the disease hit me far harder than it had hit him. Unable to find a way to thank him, I cried, and the tears felt good on my face. He said to forget about it, and that he would be back to check on me later, and to pick up my letter for you. The only sound in this room is that of my own breathing and the feather quill scratching across the paper. I wonder if—_

_Vaan came back, with some herbs from the city. I must have looked pathetic, curled up on my cot with a blanket around my shoulders and sweat pouring down my face, penning a letter._

" _I'm so sorry," He had said, looking at me sadly. I felt like shouting at him, but on a second thought, I decided that that would take too much strength. Instead I just looked at him, before dipping my quill in ink once more to begin the paragraph above. "This is my fault."_

_Looking up again, I said, "Yes, Vaan, it is your fault. Why did you leave?"_

" _I felt guilty about what happened to you, with the disease, so I left—I ran away, again, and I—I promised someone that I would stop doing that." He looked down, unable to meet my eyes. "Balthier took me back here after we met in Nalbina. He suggested that I make arrangements for you in the Sandsea."_

" _Sounds like an excellent idea." I croaked, and rolled up this parchment and bottled up the ink._

" _Your room is ready, but it looks like I'll have to carry you there." He paused, watching me pack up this letter. "Who's the letter to?"_

" _Larsa." I replied simply._

" _You never told me you were still writing to him."_

" _You never asked." I snapped, and he took me to the Sandsea in silence. Oh, Larsa, you told me to spend time with him, but I think I've only alienated him further. So I finish this letter to you from the Sandsea, feeling terribly alone again._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	9. Letter Nine

_Dear Penelo,  
_

_I write to you now from an airship, because nothing ever seems to go as planned._

_I am glad that the mail came early, because when I received your letter, I knew that it was my duty, as your protector, to be by your side in your time of need. So, without question, I ordered that we leave for the coronation ceremony a week early, although I only told Basch the real reason that we were leaving early. But I think he understands, about promising to protect someone._

_Archadia, being a great and grand empire, owns some private airships, but I think traveling on a private airship (unless you are a sky pirate, of course) defeats the entire purpose of riding on an airship, if you ask me. This way, I can see and be around people going about their daily business, and it's nice to see citizens of the Empire and of Dalmasca mingling without disdain for the other. I write from a small table by the window, because there's something comforting about watching the sky and the clouds rush by at such an amazing speed. I must admit, I can see why Vaan always aspired to be a sky pirate._

_I think our next meeting will be bittersweet. I'll get to see you sooner than I had hoped, but because of your illness. I bring with me also the most skilled doctor in all of Archadia, and I plan to have her care for you with her extensive medical knowledge. But as a good family friend, she has taught me that sometimes, knowledge and even medicine aren't enough. Because I fear that you, Penelo, are sick at heart as well._

_From your letter, you sound hurt by Vaan's—well—negligence and he's struggling, too. But as your friend, I assure you that he is having hard times as well, and he's not sure how to handle it. So he does what is in his blood, and that is to run from his problems. I'm not saying that places him anywhere below me, or that isn't what I'd do in the same situation. But I must remind you, brutally but honestly, that Vaan has his own battles to fight, and he's feeling a little overwhelmed. It's blossomed from his restlessness, and I think he left for the Strahl because he, like myself, sometimes wishes to return to the events of a year ago. And since he can't attain it, he'll try the closest thing, which is meeting our old friends Fran and Balthier for an adventure._

_It will be an hour before this airship reaches Rabanastre, only an hour until I see you once more. It's strange, I'm kind of nervous. After all, I haven't laid eyes on you in over a year. I must admit, I myself have gotten a lot taller. I have been told that this happens around my age, but sometimes I'm astounded by how fast I'm growing and changing. So I wonder now, how much have you changed, Penelo? Since I've been writing to you, and you to me, I still feel like I've been speaking to the seventeen year old girl of a year ago, but I'm not. We've both grown older again, and we've certainly changed. But through writing to you, Penelo, I'm sure it's been for the better._

_I think that maybe, you've helped me realize exactly who I am. Sure, I've always known that I'm Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, fourth son of the Emperor, and Lord Larsa of Archadia. But those are the things that society, that the world expects me to be. I have a name and a title to fill, but what about my own desires? I have been told, since birth, that if I ever expected to hold a position of power, as the Fourth Son, I would have to purge myself of all individuality, of all thoughts, hopes and feelings not related to my country. But I don't think I could ever do that, and I don't think some drone without feelings or hopes has their country's best interest really at heart. On the contrary, I believe that the strength of a country, a territory, or an empire, so to speak, is built on whatever desires its leader harbors, selfish or not._

_Basch just came over to let me know that it's almost time to touch down, and he glanced down at this letter. Apparently I have been writing with extreme fervor, for in addition to the inkspots on this paper, there are inkspots on my hands and face. After mentioning that, he asked, "Writing to Penelo again, my Lord?" I nodded, and said, sounding slightly amused, "You know you will see her in a quarter of an hour, right?" I simply smiled, shrugged, and said, "I write to her whenever I have something on my mind." And it is true, because I find deep comfort in my correspondence with you, Penelo. Basch advised me to finish my letter soon, so I would have time to wash the ink off my face before we arrive in Rabanastre._

_Here's to hoping that I hand this letter to you in person, after seeing you for the first time in a year._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	10. Letter Ten

_Dear Larsa,_

_Even though you are in the next room, it is true of me, as well as you, that I write to you when I have something on my mind. This time, though, it feels as though I have something on my heart._

_I cannot find the words to say exactly what your return meant to me. I just hope with all my heart that you understand the impact you made when you knocked on the door of my hotel room, and handed me your letter, with nothing but a smile. It was almost as if it were a dream, something I imagined in my head as I fell asleep. But it wasn't, and it was real. Even though you are an Emperor in Archadia, the mightiest of empires, you came for me._

_I think that after reading your letter, that I am willing to forgive Vaan. He has always been an adventurous spirit, and he needs to find someone like him, not someone like me. I take pleasure in routine, daily life, and I think Vaan finds that quality of mine hard to respect. I am not as restless as he is, and I never will be. He's got his head in the clouds, but my feet are planted firmly on the ground. In truth, I haven't changed at all. And that's partly what scares me._

_But you! You have changed, Larsa. A year ago, I traveled with a twelve-year-old boy, the youngest of House Solidor, naïve but peace-loving. Still, I wasn't sure if I really knew you, or even if you knew yourself. But now, you walked in this room a different person, but still somehow the Larsa I knew. You walked with confidence, a purpose, like you finally knew who you really were. And when you smiled, I finally got to see the smile I had imagined as I read your letters, as I closed my eyes and wished to see you again. And now, I have._

_You once told me that you didn't think of yourself as a 'knight in shining armor' or my 'rescuer', but you are wrong. Dead wrong. Because you have proven yourself to me not once, but twice, that you came for me, when I least expected you to come. I hate to be the damsel in distress once more, but you showed me once again that you promised to protect me, and you meant it._

_And in a move to mark your newfound confidence, you got down on your knees once again, took my hand and promised again that you would always protect me, and if I ever needed you, for anything, that you would only be in the next room. And since then, I have been comforted like I never have been before, with a sense of peace, because I knew that you will be here to protect me. But I never imagined that such a wonderful reunion would feel so—bittersweet. Maybe because I didn't see you, maybe because you were so far away, maybe I believed somewhere deep inside that you were—so—attainable. But seeing you, dressed like the Emperor you are—with such confidence, it shook me a little. You are a great ruler, whether you know it or not, and anyone can tell, just by seeing you. It is truly wonderful and slightly overwhelming, seeing you again, but I almost feel—undeserving. It was easier, a year ago, to accept the fact that you were royalty, the Forth Son of Archadia, amidst all the conflict around us. It was just one more fact to comprehend, a bit of information to store away in my mind. But when you walked through the door, I began to finally began to realize exactly who I had befriended. It was easier, when you and I were corresponding, to almost trick myself into believing that I was just writing to an old and faraway friend, and not the Emperor of Archadia. And I, well, I'm just a Dalmascan peasant living in an apartment under the capital city._

_I sincerely hope that you don't misunderstand me, if I even decide to give this letter to you, after all. I don't think of you as any less or more of a person than I ever did and I never will, because I promised, but I am desperately afraid that our social differences will hurt our friendship. I promise you, Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, that although I am nothing more than a poor, lowly Dalmascan peasant, I want nothing more in this world than to be your best friend._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	11. Letter Eleven

_Dear Penelo,_

_I have been told in the past that the best way to organize your thoughts is to put them down on paper. So I will._

_Just as you promised, we celebrated my thirteenth birthday (however belated) on the streets of Rabanastre and the Sandsea, and I assure you that it was the best birthday I have ever had. Rabanastre is a glorious and majestic city, though majestic in a different way than Archades is. Archades, however beautiful, is still and unfeeling, while Rabanastre's beauty lies in it's freedom and delightful chaos, and for a while, I get to be a part of that chaos._

_After having escaped the Imperial guards at my side, I wandered the city with you, and however simple a pleasure that may be, the joy in my heart was indescribable. I was exceptionally pleased at the fact that I was mistaken for no more than the average Archadian foreigner, and that I got the chance to see the city as everyone else sees it, not through the eyes of an Emperor._

_I will admit that I have changed in the past year, but you, Penelo, cannot deny the growth that you, too, have experienced. Physically, you have grown to be a beautiful young woman. But on the other hand, you have grown to be independent, and have become your own person. On our journey a year ago, you were a naïve young girl, slightly clingy as far as Vaan went, but since you have begun to live your own life apart from his. It takes strength to blaze your own path, Penelo, and I know that you have that strength. You have proven it to me, time and time again._

_I want you to know that this newfound confidence you speak so longingly of, it comes from you, Penelo. This correspondence, it has slowly showed me who I really am, not who everyone expects me to be. And that never would have happened, without you._

_And also through you, I have discovered true freedom. Freedom is not the same as liberation. In a certain context, the words can be interchanged, like when Dalmasca was liberated, it embraced freedom. But when referring to myself, this is not so. When my brother was killed, I was liberated, no doubt, but I did not experience freedom until I saw you again, Penelo. The music playing in the Sandsea, it was beautiful, but what dazzled me was our dance. In all my extensive education, never once had I been taught to dance, but I wish I had been. I found joy and freedom, even in such a simple waltz. Because right then and there, the Fates didn't care if I was an Emperor, or you a Dalmascan peasant. None of that mattered, and that is where I found joy, and that is where I found my freedom._

_But the simple truth is that no matter the way we treat each other, or the way we think of each other, we can never escape the boundaries set by our social classes. This world is cruel, and I cannot find words to express the sadness I feel when I remind myself that things may never quite work out the way we want them to. But I will hold my head high, as you would, and remind myself that I still have these memories to hold onto, along with these letters I receive from you. No matter the course of my life, I will still have your letters to remind me who I really am, and what I've always meant to be._

_And who knows? There are paths to be taken and trails to be blazed, Penelo. Maybe our futures are intertwined. Maybe—maybe they were from the start._ (Here something was blotted out) _As I said before, Fate doesn't care about social classes. Neither does friendship. The people of this world may care, but the things of this world have never tied you down before, Penelo, and more than anything—I want to follow in your footsteps. I want just a little bit of your bravery to call my own, that I might learn from you a lesson about leadership and becoming the person you were meant to be._

_I hope you are no longer sick at heart. For I believe that your physical ailment is caused by something within your heart, and only you can heal wounds like that. I hope that I have done the best I can to help you through whatever conflict you may be going through right now, because that is what friends are for, aren't they?_

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	12. Letter Twelve

_Dear Larsa,_

_In all the excitement following the coronation ceremony, I find it best to write to you when I've got so much on my mind._

_First off, I'm proud of Ashe. With all that she's been through these past few years, she faces every situation with strength, the kind of strong I try so hard to be. There are so many painful memories here for her, of her father sitting on the very throne where she now presides, of seeing off Prince Rasler for the very last time, his funeral, and her father's death. But she didn't run away, or take to the skies in the arms of a sky pirate. She stood her ground and faced her past, for the sake of her country._

_Second, I'm proud of Basch. I know he's a soldier, he's supposed to be brave and courageous, but what he did takes a different kind of courage, if you ask me. After all, not every soldier can propose to a queen, especially not at her coronation ceremony. He talked about having to gain her trust back, a struggle that was worth it in the end._

" _As your husband died," He began, in front of her on one knee, "he instructed me to protect you." I remember her flinching slightly at this, as she cried. I suppose she had never been told that, about Rasler. After all, Basch was the only one who would have heard that, anyway. "And protect you I will, Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca, until the very day you die. Please. Be my wife."_

_I was very proud of him, and you can tell him I said that. I'm very excited for Ashe, because I know that although she may have loved Rasler, I doubt it even begins to compare to what she feels for Basch._

_I'll take this moment to say that I am proud of you, too. What you did takes courage, as well. Even among a crowd of Dalmascans, you represented the Empire with pride for your country, but still with remorse for what the Empire did to our country. But beside Al-Cid, you walked up and shook hands with Ashe, the newly coroneted Queen, and stood next to her and promised peace, even in front of people with a great disdain for the Empire._

_While I have a great new respect for Basch, your actions required an amount of courage that I haven't seen in anyone else but you, Larsa. And that's exactly why I'm so glad to have you as my friend. You always do what is right for everyone else, for your country and Dalmasca alike, even if it's hard._

_And then there was the necklace. Shortly after the ceremony, you pulled me aside, on our way back to the Sandsea._

" _This seems a fitting time to present this to you." You said, and I swear that the whole block could hear my heartbeat. And you took, not out of a brilliantly decorated container, but out of your pocket, a brilliant rose wrought out of what appeared to be silver, on a simple black chain. The chain was strung through the place where flower and stem met, and the stem even had small leaves and even smaller thorns. "A good luck charm." You said simply, definitively. "To replace the nethicite, remember?"_

_For a moment, I didn't, so you reminded me. "On the Leviathan, I gave you the manufacted nethicite, in the hopes that it would bring you good fortune. I suppose it did, for we met again, in Jahara. But in the Henne Mines, we learned of the true danger of the nethicite, and I was frightened that I had given you such a thing, even with good intentions. You said it had been your good luck charm, and from that point I promised myself that someday, I would find something worthy of replacing it. On my first trip into the city after returning a year ago, something caught my eye on the stand of a street vendor, and I came across this necklace. It reminded me of you, because even though it came from a street vendor, selling trinkets to simply stay in the City, this necklace still embodied beauty beyond words. Simple, but elegant in a way that I can't quite describe. If fortune brought me back to you again, then let this be your good luck charm, Penelo."_

_So now I wear this necklace around my neck, as a reminder that even when times are hard, you are still my friend, and to remind me of a promise you once made._

_I know that you are at a meeting with Ashe and Al-Cid right now, to discuss plans for peace and plans for the future, but hopefully, I will get to see you at the banquet later tonight, and thank you again for the necklace, and the promise that goes along with it. The banquet will be wonderful, for now it celebrates Ashe's coming wedding as well as her coronation. She has a lot going on in her life right now, but I think it will be nice for her to celebrate something as simple as love. So maybe when I thank you again, I'll hug you and get that wonderful uppity feeling again, the one I get when I spend time with you. Maybe the banquet will run long into the night, and the stars will shine bright as we walk back to the Sandsea._

_Maybe there'll be music, and maybe we'll dance._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	13. Letter Thirteen

_Dear Penelo,_

_I'll say that the banquet was eventful, to say the least._

_Vaan was never really a subtle person, was he?_

_While he wasn't technically invited to the banquet, I think he knew he belonged there, because halfway through the banquet, he burst into the dining hall, still looking slightly wind-blown. And of course, he came with his companions, Balthier, Fran and that girl from the Westersand, just as you predicted. And because the Vaan we've known as of late is always sure of himself, he walked over to Ashe, at the head of the table, with his companions at his heels, and spoke to her._

" _Congratulations." There was a slight stiffness in his voice, I noted. But Vaan is Vaan, and I don't think anyone will ever be able to understand what he is thinking, even you, Penelo._

_For a moment, Ashe wasn't a newly coroneted, dignified queen who was engaged to be married to her guardian. For a moment, she looked on to her former companions and saw, I think, the life she left behind, so she could be seated on the throne and serve Dalmasca as its queen. "Thank you." She said frostily, her head angled down slightly. But as she looked up, she added with an interesting tone to her voice, "It's an honor to have you at my banquet tonight."_

_For a split second, Vaan's stiffness faltered. He glanced slightly to his right, to find that all conversations had been paused, all utensils set politely down, all eyes turned to him. But I really think he has a little bit of sky pirate in him, because he nodded defiantly and replied._

" _I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the ceremony." He apologized, but his tone was even and emotionless._

" _I accept your apology." She replied with the same frosty tone._

" _This is—this is Ada." He gestured to the girl standing behind him, a pale, pretty brunette with shoulder-length straight hair, a blue mark on the middle of her forehead and eyes the color of the blue-green sea. Looking back, I suppose she was a Kiltias at one time, because I've only ever seen Kiltias' with that kind of mark before. I just wonder: what was she doing in the Westersand village? "She's been—traveling with me lately."_

" _Pleased to meet you, Your Highness."_

_Ashe nodded slightly._

" _I've never really been the type for fancy gatherings like this, but Vaan wanted to come." Balthier said, shrugging. Vaan glanced back at him, flushing slightly._

" _I brought you something." The attempt at stiffness was lost, as he pulled something out of his pocket, speaking softly. In his hand was a shell, one that sparkled and shined in the palace lights._

" _It's a treasure of the Westersand." Ada proclaimed in a happy, breathless way. "Fit for a queen."_

_Ashe ran a finger down the side of the shell, before opening it to find a pearl. She gasped as the room fell completely silent. She shut the sparkling blue shell in one swift motion, before holding it to her heart. "Please forgive me, Vaan." She whispered, and I suppose that only those of us near the head of the table could hear. At first, I didn't know why she had positioned her hands like that, but now I think it was to make her engagement ring visible. After a moment, she dropped her hands back to her lap, and for a while, it was silent._

_In a quick motion, he placed his hand on hers for a moment, and whispered back, "Then you'll have to forgive me, too." And with his companions by his side, he turned and walked away, through the doors he had left open._

_In retrospect, it's hard to know exactly what was going on there, between Ashe and Vaan, but no matter how much we wonder and how much we think about it, I doubt we'll ever know._

_But instead of rambling further, you know well that there are some things I—we need to address. About you and I. Seeing you here, in Rabanastre, has been magical for me. And I'd love to end my trip on this note, that kiss under the stars, but there are some things you need to know—about me and my future._

_Ashe wanted to announce it at the banquet, but I wouldn't let her. You are my friend, my closest companion, and I decided that you had to know first._

_Penelo, I am to be married. When I met with Ashe and Al-Cid, we discussed the prospect, and it was the general consensus that it would be best if I married Al-Cid's younger sister, someone roughly my age. It would recognize the peace and reconciliation between our two countries, but there has never been a time when I wanted to defy my obligation more._

_I wish more than anything that it could be us—you and I, for the rest of my life. I caught a glimpse of what that might be like, under the stars tonight, when it was the two of us, and we realized that we had stumbled across each other a year ago, and if we had anything to do with it, we would never be apart again. Because that's what companionship is about, right?_

_And sure, we kissed, but I couldn't help but feel as though it was a kiss goodbye._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	14. Letter Fourteen

_Dear Larsa,_

_I've never really been good at dealing with these kinds of things. Truth be told, two years ago I never could have imagined myself where I am now._

_Looking back, I don't think you were just lucky, and opened the door to my room in the Sandsea as I finished the letter. I didn't realize it then, being wrapped up in the moment myself, but I think you were waiting._

_You had something to say, but I didn't want to hear it. I may seem selfless to a suicidal degree, sometimes, but at that instant, I felt—selfish. That for once, just once in my life, I wanted something for myself and my own happiness. As I set down that piece of paper, that letter you wrote me, I heard my door creak slightly. As I had sort of suspected, you were standing there in the doorway, a sad, sad look on your face. To be honest, that moment I wanted you to leave, so that perhaps I could convince myself that I could, perhaps, live without you. And as you gave me that sad, sad smile that I swore I had seen before, I lost all defiance and resolve._

_All you said, at first, was my name. "Penelo," and as the word left your lips, I realized that it meant many things. It was both a beginning and an ending, a promise and a reassurance, a show of guilt and a show of selflessness, a word of sacrifice and a word of love. But more than anything, I knew that it was an apology. That was why you wrote me the letter—that was why you were here. The apology was coming. "I'm sorry." And it came._

_As you walked over to me, seated at the desk, I could barely hear your footsteps in the empty room over the beating of my own heart. All of a sudden, all of this, even just being friends with you, it all felt so terribly wrong. All of a sudden, I was out of place. There was a girl somewhere in Rozarria that was going to be your Empress someday, and someday was far too soon for me. As you walked over, I turned away, perhaps so that I wouldn't have to face my own pain._

" _Penelo, I—" I turned my head in your direction in the slightest of ways, as I knew you were standing behind my chair now, and I let my tense, heightened shoulders drop. "Penelo, I don't really know what's going on here." And even from your tone, I realized that this—all of this, all of a sudden, was bearing your weaknesses, turning you inside out, only to prove to me that as wise as you are, you are still a thirteen year old boy at heart, and there are plenty of things you don't understand yet. Hell, this is one of those things that I don't understand yet, and I turn eighteen in a few months._

" _I'm—I'm afraid I don't either."_

_And you sighed, an almost playful, happy sigh. "I was afraid of such." You replied, and even through the Archadian accent, your tone was still slightly facetious. "So let's break it all down and figure out what we do know." And as I turned my chair, you seated yourself across from me on the edge of the bed._

_I looked at you curiously for a moment, waiting, watching—as well as wondering if you had planned this conversation out, even as you were writing the very letter I am replying to. Because you are Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, and you're just smart like that. Then, in that official way that made me remember that you're Emperor of a large country, you cleared your throat and began._

" _One: We know we are companions. Agreed?" You almost seemed to be asking of my approval and my reassurance, so I smiled and nodded._

" _Two: We are very, very different people." That one I could agree to as well, so I smiled and nodded once more._

" _Three: When I met you, at first you didn't trust me. But in time, we became friends, even despite the disapproval of your friends and your entire country. That alone is something to be proud of, Penelo." And I had never really looked at it that way, so I smiled with the pride that you thought I deserved. But like an autumn flower that fades with the promise of winter, my smile quickly disappeared from my face._

" _Four:" I stated, "You are to be married to the Rozarrian heir." That particular one was the thing that neither of us wanted to say, but I've had to deal with Vaan my entire life, so I am actually quite practiced with speaking uncomfortable truths. But following the uncomfortable truth was an uncomfortable silence, both of us unable to find the right words to say._

_I'm not sure how long the silence lasted. But neither of us moved, neither of us got up, and neither of us said a word. For all I know, it could have lasted for days. Then, finally, you got down on one knee at my feet for the third time in my life, and made a third promise._

" _Five:" You whispered, "Because we are companions, and we are different, and we are strong, I swear to you on my life and my crown that even if I am married to the Rozarrian heir, you will always be my best friend."_

_And I believed it._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	15. Letter Fifteen

_Dear Penelo,_

_I am writing to you following yet another meeting with Ashe and Al-Cid. I'll get on to the politics of the meeting in a moment, but I must address the fact that Ashe seems a bit shaken. She is less than thrilled about marrying Basch, but I think she knows that it is necessary to bring peace and security to Dalmasca. Also, what would thrill her country more than to see her happily wed? I can follow her train of thought here—it's the perfectly logical course of action, but I can also concede to the fact that it's a painful course of action, if the one you choose to marry is not the one you love. Her country and the citizens within it would like to see her wed for love, but if she chose the one that I know she loves, they would reject him. It's terribly contradictory, but now that I see things from a certainly similar perspective, I can understand why she isn't terribly excited about this whole ordeal. After all, the prospect of marriage probably frightens her, considering what happened to Rasler. I can understand why she might be scared that Basch will leave her like he did, even if she doesn't love him. It's hard to lose the ones you love, especially if you know that they had walked themselves into their own death._

_And another issue that Ashe and I share is the lack of family. My mother was a sickly woman and died giving birth to me, the youngest son, and I lost my father a year ago as well. Although Vayne might not have been the ideal brother, there is still the bond that we shared as family, and he was the last to leave me. She confided to me following the meeting that she wished more than anything that her father was here now to give her up in marriage a second time, even if a purely political marriage. Sure, I am surrounded by people who know and respect me, but it's strange to have that link missing, that lack of someone you feel truly understands you—which is the reason I was overjoyed to receive your letter those months ago, Penelo._

_But the true purpose of this letter is bittersweet in and of itself. I find that sometimes it's easier to write the hard things down, even though some say it is impersonal. I, well, I think it's that much more personal, to think through every word and to shape and form every sentence with your own hands. But because I am known to beat around the bush, I must confess to you that I have another week left to stay in Rabanastre. I was exceptionally joyful when I realized this, for it was many more days than I had expected here. On the other hand, it is the calm before a storm, the week of rest before a journey that may actually take years._

_Yes, in a week I will fly back to Archadia. From there I will work my way through the Empire, traveling and speaking and meeting and greeting and letting my people know that their world is changing now, for the better, and that Archadia will have a better name in history if we all unite and work towards our true and common cause. I will pass through virtually every town in Archadia, from the capital itself to the Hunter's Camp on the Phon Coast to the nomad village in the Tchita Uplands. For a short while I will be in Dalmasca once more, telling once again about my plans for peace and reassuring the citizens of Dalmasca that years to come will be prosperous and flourishing for both countries. And the greatest part of my time will be spent in Rozarria. It's a risky move, traveling on foot through the country that was the Empire's greatest enemy not too long ago, but that just shows that I mean what I say, and I don't take peace as a light manner to be flaunted when I choose. I will work my way south through the country until I reach the capital itself, from which I will return home to Archadia with my wife._

_With my wife._

_It sends an awful shiver down my spine as I write that. I'm thirteen, for Ultima's sake! I can't even comprehend the thought of being married! I know it sounds selfish, but this is the closest I've ever gotten to turning down a prospect that would better the lives of the people in my country. Please understand, Penelo. I don't want this, and I never will. I never have. I don't think I've ever dreaded anything as much as I'm dreadi—_

_Oh. You just knocked on the door, offering to meet me downstairs for a late breakfast. It sounds wonderful. I'll finish this up and meet you there, though I feel awful guilty for ruining your meal with my bittersweet news._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	16. Letter Sixteen

_Dear Larsa,_

_Somewhere in the back of my head, I have a voice screaming "These are the best times of your life, Penelo!", and somehow, though I know that you'll have to leave in four more days, I can't help but agree._

_Because sometimes, I let myself forget. I slip into a nice, comfortable ignorance in which I forget that you are betrothed, I forget that you'll have to leave soon, perhaps for good. Vaan always told me that I need to stop worrying about the future and live for the day, and I'm beginning to see what he means. Because if you worry too much about the things to come, you forget how to be happy in the present._

_I didn't feel the need to write you immediately after I read your letter at breakfast a few days ago. When I found out you were going to stay, I rejoiced. Shamelessly, might I add. I was in a hurry, I was in a hurry to show you my world, my city, my home. Not some tourist's route, I wanted you to know Rabanastre through my eyes, through the eyes of a true native._

_But in the back of my mind, I still worry about Vaan. I thought that perhaps he had learned a lesson during the events of a year ago, but it seems that lately he's been more impulsive and reckless than usual, showing up at Ashe's banquet and then taking off like that (Excuse my bad pun). It makes me wonder exactly what's on his mind, and how he's really doing out there exploring the world. But as I catch myself worrying, I remind myself that Vaan can handle himself, and if he really needed to be in Rabanastre, he would be here. Vaan may not be that great with the minds of other people, but he can recognize his own desires and necessities._

_So I'm writing to you now, because in a way that seems a little self-destructive, I'm proud of you. We traveled through the East End today, poking around in the shops and even visiting Lowtown, and I realized that I was proud of you. You have proven to me, yet again, that you are wise and mature beyond your years, because it takes a lot to put aside your own personal desires for even that of a friend, let alone thousands of strangers. It's also a little bit painful, because you, Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, are brilliant but thoughtful, wise but innovative, and you don't deserve to perform such a selfless act. I would understand if you threw down law and reason to defy the Senate and pursue your own desires, but perhaps you are a better and more selfless person than myself. You have that choice staring you in the face, but instead you choose your people over yourself. Ashe once told me that the definition of a great ruler is one who would not give a second thought to giving up their life for their country, and I believe that you are that person. This throne was meant for you all along, because you are a great ruler, Larsa._

_I can't say that your bittersweet news ruined my week, my day or even that particular meal, because I'm choosing to enjoy the sweet part in the hopes that the bitter part will be less of a blow._

_But I'm going to enjoy the time I still have left with you. It's just a little bit unreal, trying to realize that I'm running out of time to say all the things I want to say to you, experience the things I want to experience with you by my side. It's almost hard to comprehend, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to._

_Showing you my home today made me realize the magnitude of our differences. At first, I was a bit ashamed, but as you smiled I realized, as well, the magnitude of your humility, that you might look at my home the same way you view your palace or anywhere else. And it meant a lot to me. But looking at my home, though I'm not staying there anymore, it made me a little sad, perhaps because it reminded me of my more adventurous days, when Vaan and I would explore the deserts together, before we were whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime._

_And looking back, it's changed us all. Ashe lost her whole family to the war, Balthier and Fran, I suspect, realized what a sense of loyalty to another person (other than each other) felt like, a real quest for a good cause felt like. Vaan, I believe, lost his sense of boyish innocence, his view on life was skewed by loss and bitterness, far more than when he had lost Reks. Though, I believe that a year ago, he lost his brother all over again when we won the war. It was as though he had finished what Reks set out to do, and I think that hurt him a little bit. Basch turned a whole 180 degrees from famous traitor to famous knightly hero, and is to marry Ashe sometime in the next year or so. And I, well, I suppose that I found you. I lost a lot to this war, including my parents and nearly everyone I had ever considered to be my family, but I found you. Because the best things in life come from sacrifice, though we all wish it weren't so._

_Will you be here, in a year, for Ashe's wedding?_

_You're giving up love for your country, and I'm giving it up for you._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	17. Letter Seventeen

_Dear Penelo,_

_I must whole-heartedly agree that this has, without a doubt, been the best week of my life. But I have to admit that now that it's over, I'm scared. It's something that I'm not actually used to dealing with, but I'm scared. It's just a little odd, to me, that I can face the most fearless of monsters in all of Ivalice and never flinch, but the thought of getting married scares me out of my wits. I suppose it's just because of my age, but it seems to me that all fears should be relatable, should fit neatly on some kind of scale, perhaps from one to ten, but I'm beginning to discover that it doesn't really work that way, after all._

_There are some things in life, I'm also beginning to discover, that are forever. If my mother dies in childbirth, she is gone forever. If, perhaps, my brother murders my father to take the throne, my father is gone forever. If I in turn assist the murder of my brother, he, too, has left this world forever. I'm quite experienced with death, you might say. But on the other hand, there are some experiences in this life that are forever, too._

_And I'm not just talking about marriage, this time. Though I am in part, because this may be the one thing in my life that I absolutely terrifies me. In a few short years, I am to be married to a stranger, someone I will know only hours before our wedding. And sometimes, just like any other thirteen year old boy, I wonder, 'Why me?' But then I remind myself, 'Because you are Larsa Ferrinas Solidor, and this is your time. You will do what you must to use your time of power to its full potential. And if that means marrying a creepy female version of Al-Cid, then by Ultima, you will.' That second half is the more driven, sensible side of me, and I'm afraid that someday I may discard that side of me completely, out of pure frustration with this odd, odd being I call myself. Sometimes I feel a little self-contradictory. But I'm beginning to believe that everyone has contradictory feelings and desires, because as I write to you, I seem to rip apart my own psyche, tear it into little pieces, examine the little pieces, and stomp on them to see what's left. So maybe if I write to you for the rest of my life, eventually I will have figured out who I am and what I want._

_Anyway, recently I have figured out that there are some good things in this world that are forever, too. There are certain friendships that are forever. I've thought for a long time, and we've come a long way from what we used to be. We've learned many a lesson from each other in this past year or so, and I'm quite sure that I would be a very different person had I never met you. Perhaps, if I had never met you, this war would not have ended the way it did. Think about it, Penelo! If I hadn't taken you in after you were kidnapped, and had you not begun to trust me, I never would have met your companions. And it was you, your companions and I that helped end the war between Dalmasca and Archadia. So if you trace it all back, read the story backwards to find where this all began, the quest to end the war begins with us joining forces, you and me, two different people brought together by the most gruesome of circumstances, and in the end, destiny turned it into something beautiful. We've both lost things along the way, but I know now that there was a purpose behind all of this, a reason, a meaning—something true._

_I believe this letter will turn into something of a goodbye present, though I wish it weren't so. Because if I leave, I'm acknowledging that I'm leaving you for the last time, perhaps, and that when I see you again, it may be under far different and far more awkward circumstances than I would wish on anyone as close as us. My wife-to-be? I found out her name was Selardi, named after some moon goddess. Though it is a pretty name for a supposedly pretty girl, I feel a pang of dread because I know that she will never, ever measure up to the one I proudly call my best friend. Never._

_I assure you that I will be back in Dalmasca when Ashe has her wedding, though I'm beginning to suspect that not all will go as planned, despite Ashe's sacrificial demeanor. Call it a hunch, call it instinct, I call it common sense. Take my word, there are people that are destined to leave their mark on this world, and nothing can get in the way of a destiny like that._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	18. Letter Eighteen

_Dear Larsa,_

_You handed me your letter right before you boarded the airship, and although I was glad to receive it, I think you are honest in saying that you're not sure when you'll be able to write me again. I have to admit, it scares me a little bit._

_To be honest, this whole thing scares me. I sorta clung to you after Vaan began to change and thus, grow distant, but I'm afraid that you, too, Larsa, will soon change to the point of being unrecognizable. Not necessarily physically, because you've grown up quite a bit already. But as far as the rest of you, the real Larsa, I don't want you to change at all. Because I know that journeys change people, but then again, time does, too. Vaan is excellent proof of that, and I suppose I am too. Because I'm beginning to think that I've changed, too. Even though I lost my parents to the war, I think that I too am beginning to see the bitter, unfair part of this world._

_Goodbyes are hard. I know that. But I think saying goodbye to you just yesterday might be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I suppose it felt that way because_

_I've decided to keep staying at the Sandsea. I tried to move back into Lowtown, but something didn't feel right. Like I was intruding and moving into someone else's home, and I couldn't even set my things down. The whole feeling was overwhelming, so I went back to the Sandsea, though I must admit I was a little tearful. Moving out of Lowtown, it feels as though I'm leaving a bit of myself down there underground. But living there without Vaan would be strange—it would feel as though there was something missing from my existence. Vaan is the only family that I really have left, and he left me for some complex, unknown reason. Maybe leaving Rabanastre was his declaration of independence, his new beginning. And maybe moving out of Lowtown was mine. It hurts, just a little bit, but lately I've spent more time worrying about you and Ashe._

_I mean, you two are strong. I wouldn't dare say otherwise. But there are some things that are engraved in the human conscience, and I think that you and Ashe are trying to defy that. It's human nature to pursue true love, but Ashe is denying herself that chance. Instead, in a year she will promise herself away to someone that she doesn't love, at least, not like that. And you're right, some things are forever._

_It's sort of amazing to think that we helped end the war. It sort of blows my mind to think on that scale. Is that always how you think of things, Larsa? Believe me, you are full of surprises. I think that the two of us becoming friends represents the alliance to come. I suppose you could say that we are trendsetters, in the greatest of ways. I swear to you this, Larsa Ferrinas Solidor will go down in history, and someday I will proudly tell my own grandchildren that I was the Emperor's very best friend when he took the throne. I know that your name will be written dozens of times in the Archadian history books, and you will bring about a golden age for your country. I just know it._

_And it sort of makes me sad, too, when I think about it. It's hard to tell myself that my name won't go down in history next to yours. I looked up at the stars last night, after you left, I touched the beautiful rose that hung on the necklace I wore, and I wondered if this was written in stars from the beginning. If this was all set in stone from the moment we met. After all, it's only natural to wonder if I could have gone back and changed any of this, at all. If even the smallest of gestures or the simplest of words might have changed all of this, but then I realized that it's impossible to know for sure, and wondering will only make this hurt more._

_I may continue to write to you for the rest of my life, but no matter how near or far you really are, you'll always seem so close but just out of reach. There will always be that unseen boundary, that fence, that wall that keeps me from being able to call you mine, for real. It's painful. It's heartbreaking, really. It's hard to know that you'll be married, but it's harder to know that this is right. We both know that this is right. So why is it so hard? Are we, too, defying the instincts that we were born with, in favor of what is 'right'?_

_In truth, Larsa, I'm scared for you._

_Goodbyes are hard. This was the hardest._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	19. Letter Nineteen

_Dear Penelo,_

_From the content of your letter, it sounds as though you sent me that letter shortly after I left, but I swear to you that I just now got it today, after more than three months of travel._

_After I returned to Archadia (by airship, though it will be a long, long time before I ever take an airship ride again), we had a few weeks of preparation before leaving, and I decided that I would first speak to the citizens of Old Archades. Old Archades is my first project, because if I plan to change the world, it's probably best to start in my own city. But in the short time since I have taken the throne, the quality of life has already begun to improve, though we have a long road of change ahead of us. The first phase will be installing a school and offering free education to people of all ages, even if they aren't Archadian. In Archades, especially, information and the spread of is vital to growth and prosperity, so what better way to spread vital information than through a school?_

_It sort of makes me feel better about my marriage, to keep myself busy on things like this. Perhaps if I keep myself busy, then I'll forget about it. Because I have to admit, the few times when the thought of it is pushed out of the back of my mind to make room for more imminent problems, it's—well—nice._

_Despite my guards' urging, I chose to leave Archades through the Sohen Cave Palace. Not that anyone that might want to hear me speak lives in the Sohen Cave Palace (in fact, anyone that might understand me is undead, and undead don't exactly count for anything in the census), but I might never get to leave the boundaries of Archades once I'm married, so I wanted to experience my country, and by that I mean all of it. It was quite interesting, though we ran into a pack (would you call it a pack?) of angry Mandragoras, and I must admit that my skill with a sword, having been left untouched for a year, is not quite as adept as it might have been. I must say, though, that as I work my way through the Empire, my strength is growing, though it is slightly painful._

_After a week or so in Sohen, we spent roughly a month in the Tchita Uplands, fighting our way through the extensive plains and speaking to the various nomads residing in the Uplands. Turns out that there are more homeless wandering the Uplands and the Steppe than we could have imagined, which is something that I will be sure to address. In other words, I put it on me 'to do' list. By the time we got through the Uplands, my entire body was sore all over, day and night, though I did notice an increase in my strength. My guards assure me that part of my sore muscles is due to puberty, but I insisted that not many people that journey through the Tchita Uplands have just hit puberty, and I was at a terrible disadvantage. And, well, you can't really argue with an Emperor anyway…_

_The Cerobi Steppe was basically the same story, though the landscape went through a definite change. About halfway through, we came across a Ringwyrm that had clearly journeyed far, for the likes of that creature haven't been seen in present-day Ivalice, save for the Nabraeus Deadlands. It was far more of a creature than we were prepared for, and the head of my guard platoon got a claw stuck in his chest, and when the battle was over we had to pull it out, and luckily it had missed his heart by inches and he survived, though he was lightheaded for some time afterwards._

_And at last, we reached the pirate city of Balfonheim. While the plains didn't exactly shock or excite me, the pirate city both shocked and excited me, but in a good way. After all, there is a point in every Archadian's life when all they want to do is grow up and become a pirate and live in the free city of Balfonheim, even those of us born into royalty. In fact, especially those of us born into royalty long for that freedom, the lack of responsibility that comes with that sort of life. When I was a small, bookish child, I recall watching my two of my older brothers dueling with wooden swords and newspaper hats fashioned like the pirate hats they had seen in the newspapers themselves. The youngest, I would sit quietly and watch while they played out a life of adventure and adversary. But, alas, it was I, the youngest, the quiet one who would prefer to delve into books who finally got to see the city of Balfonheim, and the prospect of speaking to these people excites me to no end. In fact, shortly after I received this letter, I told my guards that I was heading up to the hotel for the night to work on my speech for tomorrow morning, though I immediately sat down and began writing a reply to you._

_I must reassure you that our story is not over. In fact, I can't help but feel that our tale has just begun. Do you feel that way? I certainly don't want this to be over, to feel as though under different circumstances, we could have continued to grow and change because of each other. Who knows, maybe if we refuse to surrender, we can continue to change the world._

_After all, who can deny that we make a good team?_

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	20. Letter Twenty

_Dear Larsa,_

_As soon as I saw the Balfonheim postage stamp, I knew it was you. I didn't even take a moment to look at the handwriting before I ripped the envelope open. But as I began to unfold your letter, I took a glance at the stamp and realized that it had been sent almost a month ago. Luckily, your letter found me in a better state than when you left._

_At the Queen's own urging, I took on a job at the Royal Palace, working in the kitchens in the morning and afternoon. Because I am Ashe's friend, I get to dine with her in the evenings, usually before having a "tea" and discussing our day to day lives. It's nice, really, to have a friend. For the week between when you left and when I got a job, I was the loneliest I had ever felt in my entire life. I still sleep at the Sandsea every night, though Ashe has offered me a room. It feels like my home now, so I'll take what I've been given and run with it. Now that I'm comfortable somewhere, I'm not about to pick myself up and move, even if I would be living in the Royal Palace. If I couldn't move back into Lowtown, there's no way I could move to someplace as unfamiliar as the Palace itself._

_And as for the job itself, I really don't mind it. At first, I was resented because of my special treatment for being close to the Queen, but I think I've been accepted into their mini-community, within the kitchens. I don't have a specific job title, but lately I've taken to preparing the vegetables, which is fine with me. I'd rather do that than handle raw meat any day. Yuck. We had fish for lunch a few days ago, and it stunk up the whole kitchen. It was awful, but after a day or so of more cooking, the smell was gone. Thank goodness._

_It's nice to know that all is going for you, as well. I'm glad to know that you are getting stronger, as I knew you would. Balfonheim, as initially repulsive as it is, turned out to be one of my favorite cities throughout all of Ivalice, save for maybe Rabanastre itself. I've never really been that close to the ocean before, only rivers and lakes, so it was nice to actually smell the saltwater on the wind and visit a true coastal city. And the people in the city, well, the whole town's hearts seem to beat only for freedom and the process of maintaining that freedom, even after they lost their leader. Have they taken on another leader since Reddas? When our party visited, there were quite a few people who opposed Reddas and his ideas. I wonder if his opposition has taken over since...Even so, Larsa, my faith in you to reach these people never falters, even if they are pirates. Just because they are pirates doesn't mean that they don't recognize a good leader when they see one. On the contrary, I'm sure that because they are pirates, they respect good leadership. After all, I know a few sky pirates myself._

_Speaking of Vaan, I heard from him a few days ago. He and Ada were in town to stock up on supplies (I didn't see Fran or Balthier, now that I think about it. I wonder if they're still traveling with them after all...), and I managed to find them at the East End before they left town again. I must say, up close Ada is strikingly beautiful. She almost resembles a porcelain doll in the way her features are delicate and dainty, though it's clear she's been abroad for a while now. The two seemed quite exhausted, and although I suggested that they stay a few days and rest up, Vaan waved his hand and insisted that they get on the ship again as soon as possible. In retrospect, I'm beginning to wonder if they're on the run, though I don't really like to stop and think about things like that. I did find out, however, that Ada was born to a Kiltias named Lena on Mt. Bur-Omisace, though when she was six her mother left the mountain to raise her daughter in the Westersand, but was far too attached to the mountain and her faith and left when she was ten. It's a sad story, I must admit, but Ada still holds it in her mind that her mother is alive and well and waiting for her on the mountain. At that moment, I shared a glance with Vaan, and I realized something. Though Ada's mother probably didn't survive the attack on Bur-Omisace more than a year ago, she is allowed to have something that you and I and Vaan and Ashe are all denied._

_She's allowed to hope.  
_

_And we, on the other hand, are all certain of our orphanage. And I still haven't managed to figure out whether it's better to hope and then be let down, or to have never hoped at all._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	21. Letter Twenty-One

_Dear Penelo,_

_I feel that it is a stroke of luck, or perhaps the intervention of some other higher power, that I recieved your letter today, of all days. Today was our first day in the Skycity Bhujerba, the place where I first met you._

_I must admit that it's a little strange, to see places, people and sights that I saw with you more than a year and a half ago, though you're not with me now. And now that I'm starting to visit the places that I explored with you by my side, it seems that I can't get you out of my mind. And without you or anyone else in the party that, after a while, became my friends and allies, I feel terribly, terribly lonely. After all this time, even Basch has left me too. I can perfectly understand his obligation to stay with his future bride, but in my own selfish teenage desires, I wish he had stayed with me instead. And frankly, I suspect that Ashe feels the same way. I mean, I should understand what it's like to be engaged to someone you don't love, but I haven't even met the girl yet, and I won't for at least another two years. I'm not saying that there's even the slightest chance that I'll fall in love with her, it's just the fact that the awkwardness isn't there yet. Even after thinking about it all this time, it's still quite strange to know that I won't really get to speak to her until after we're married, in which we'll sit down and talk about who we are and what we like to do and such. It'll be odd, no doubt, introducing myself to my wife._

_And my selfish teenage side, the rambunctious side that has been showing itself a lot more often, lately, tells me that it shouldn't be that way. That marriage is a beautiful thing and should be reserved for love and love only, though my desperatly fighting realistic side asserts that this is for the best, and I must follow this through to do the right thing for my people._

_After clearly winning over the people of Balfonheim, I left from the Aerodome to the edge of the Tchita Uplands, where we traveled through the Phon Coast. After a few weeks of traveling, we got stuck in the Hunter's camp for more than a week while we waited for a storm to blow over. It was then that we recieved word that the Queen's wedding was to be a mere four months from then, and we knew we had to hurry. Thankfully, we moved with quick pace through the Salikawood, being efficient and speaking to the Moogles as we traveled. From there we went through the Mosphoran Highwaste, skipping the Deadlands and the remains of Nabudis, for now. I mentioned that I should return there after my wedding, but the head of the guard platoon just eyed me strangly and said, "Of course you will, Your Highness." Apparently he is convinced of my youthful denial of the imminent loss of my freedom, even if I have long realized that fact._

_From there we reached Nalbina Fortress. Since the shutdown of the worker's camps, Nalbina is shaping up to be quite the little town. As if the residents have completely forgotten the war and their enslavement, the town has become the bustling trading city that it was at the peak of Nabudis' and Dalmasca's power and flourishment, though I suspect that Nabudis will rise again and Dalmasca will reach new heights of political power under Ashe's rule. After an extremely successful week of speaking and greeting in Nalbina, we flew from there to Bhujerba, and we arrived today to find a letter addressed to me in the Bhujerberan post office._

_It was very nice to hear that you've gotten a job close to Ashe. I could tell, simply from speaking to her on formal terms during the meetings following her coronetion, that she is terribly lonely and is having trouble dealing with everything all at once. And I think that you, Penelo, the most kind and loving and gentle person I know, are the perfect candidate for helping Ashe with everything that's going on in her life right now. It was also nice to hear that Vaan and Ada are doing well, though sometimes I find myself worrying about the former, and what he's up to and frankly, what's going on with him. It seems as though sometimes, he and Ashe are the most complex, confusing and guilt-ridden people I know. Even if you can't reach Vaan right now, it's wonderful that you've taken the initiative and beginning to help you Queen._

_It was nice to get your letter today, but everything in this town reminds me of you._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	22. Letter Twenty-Two

_Dear Larsa,_

_Ashe's wedding is coming up soon, and I can't decide if I'm excited or not. I'm overjoyed, without a doubt, at the prospect of seeing you after a year, maybe more. But Ashe herself doesn't seem to be excited._

_And on another note, I've been waiting for Vaan to show up. Ashe's wedding is only a week away, and yet I haven't seen him yet. I wonder how he can keep himself away, knowing that there's quite the celebration starting in his hometown._

_It was nice to hear that you got my letter in Bhujerba. That place will always have a certain significance to me, because it was sort of the place where we began. There are some people that you meet in life that you forget, that don't leave an impression on your life. Their names and faces slip away, lost to the back of your mind, but I know without a doubt that you are not one of those people. I'm not afraid to say that you changed my life, and Bhujerba is important to me because that's where it all began._

_Ashe hasn't been too terribly talkative these past few days. It's obvious that the imminent wedding is constantly weighing on her mind, now, and the majority of our meal spent together is in silence. I must say that it's nice to have a full appreciation of the food being served, after spending most of the day on the other side of the kitchen. I do worry about Ashe, though, and if it's going to put a damper on her leadership to be this—well—troubled. Whatever is bothering her, I think she needs to resolve it as soon as possible. Not just for the good of her people, but for the good of herself. Just because she is Queen does not make her perfect, in human or immune to a broken heart. In fact, it seems to make her more susceptible to the things that trouble the rest of us peasants._

_Sometimes, Larsa, I believe that you are wiser than just about anyone else in this world. I know that, being as wise as you are, you probably won't believe me, but that's your honest side. But reading your letter made me think: maybe sometimes, it's not all that great to be wise. Maybe it's not all that great to be smart, and to know what's best for everyone else. To be wise enough to push away your own desires in favor of helping out everyone else. To agree to a political marriage. I thought that after Rasler, Ashe would never marry again, even for love, but it turns out she's made another (wise) political move, securing her throne as best as possible. And you—you're the same way. Agreeing to marry at the age of thirteen, even though you don't want to. Maybe there are times that it's better off to be like me, to be free. But then again, maybe it's a little hard for me too, because as much as I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I am denied that dream as well, because you are wise, Larsa. Sometimes I wish I saw things how you do, because maybe then this would be easier._

_It's kind of ironic, how after the adventures of a year ago, some of us have stayed close and others haven't. Like you and I, and Ashe and I keep in touch, but Vaan seems to have moved on completely, leaving us all behind. When I think about it, it reminds me that Vaan and I are too terribly different people. When something is wrong, I will try and work it out and talk it out and think about it, but Vaan, on the other hand…he runs away. Sometimes literally. He will never back down from a fight with any monster, but when it comes to dealing with people he is prone to flee. And I hate to make assumptions, but I think that's what he's doing now. He's running away, because that seems easier to him. That seems less painful to him. And sure, loosing you to some Rozarrian princess is painful for me, but that doesn't stop me from being friends with you. It never will. Sometimes I wish Vaan was the same way, y'know? I wish he knew that in reality, running away causes him a whole lot more pain than actually telling someone what's wrong. But then I have to remind myself that that's not my duty anymore, it's not my job to point out what he should do. I'm no longer his companion._

_And the more I think about it, the more I hate to lose you. It feels terrible, and deep inside makes me feel angry, to know that when I see you for Ashe's wedding next week, this may be the last time I see you in person for the rest of my life. It's not something that any nineteen year old girl should have to think about, but for the past two years I've had to think about a lot of things that I never imagined I would have to._

_We've missed both our birthdays this past year, yours only by a month, no? We should celebrate when you get into town._

_Like a last hurrah, isn't it?_

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	23. Letter Twenty-Three

_Dear Penelo,_

_It seems like only yesterday that I was writing to you from an airship, filled with excitement, knowing that I was going to see you soon, but I realize now that it's been more than a year. I think I've grown up a lot since I've last seen you, and I've gotten quite a bit taller. Perhaps I will be taller than you soon, Penelo. Wouldn't that be strange?_

_It scares me to realize how fast a year can go. Because I only have two years left before I am to be married, and that scares me more than anything. But I know it will bring joy to my people to see me happily married, even if it doesn't bring me any genuine happiness._

_This airship ride is not the same without Basch. I recall, as a happy memory, that when I was writing to you from the airship more than a year ago, I wrote with such intensity and fervor that Basch kindly pointed out that I had ink stains on my hands and face. I assure you that I write to you with the same passion I felt a year ago, though I control my hands a little better now, and I write slowly. And I think that that's because I spend so much time thinking about what I should say to you, exactly how I should word what's really on my mind._

_I'm looking forward to seeing you far more than I am the actual wedding, though don't tell Ashe I said such a thing. Though she probably already suspects as much. I love this time of year, I love Rabanastre, and I love spending time with you, and I've been looking forward to this week since I left Rabanastre last year. Though in a way, I've sort of been dreading it. Because when I leave Rabanastre a week from now, it'll be over. It's hard to believe, but I might see you for the last time this week. And I feel so angry when I think about it, because I can't help but think that that's just not fair! We saved the world together, and this is what I get in penance? To be married off and separated from my best friend?_

_But there is hope, I suppose. Seeing as you are still quite close to Ashe, there's always the possibility that you could work your way into a political position in Dalmasca. I think you would be great at politics, honestly. No matter how much you assert that you are no more than a selfish teenager, I know that you are truly the most kind, and caring person that I know. I know that you would give of yourself to see people happy, even though you say you can't understand what we're going through, Ashe and I. Perhaps you should have been born into royalty. Perhaps maybe then we could—_

_Please excuse that sentence, my head guard interrupted me to ask why I was shaking and if I was getting airsick, and by the time I had finished explaining to him that I never get airsick, my train of thought was derailed completely. Wow. That's amazingly frustrating._

_Vaan, well, Vaan is clearly a more complicated character than we give him credit for. He's lost a lot, but then again, we all have. It makes me wonder about this Ada girl, exactly how much they have in common. Perhaps she is the same way, and they are keeping themselves busy running away from both their troubles. But as I think about it, Balthier is prone to flee from unpleasant situations as well. He would have been vital to the Resistance had he stayed a Judge, but he found that it was in his own best interests to run, pick up a wandering Viera to be his partner and take to the skies, never to return. Perhaps that's what makes Vaan a good sky pirate, that he keeps his own skin alive by running._

_It sounds as though you are a little troubled and saddened by the fact that Vaan is no longer your companion. I think I understand that, honestly. From what I know, you've always had sisterly, maternal feelings for him, and so it's a little like losing a brother or a child. Almost like a part of your life has left. I understand how you feel, because I feel the same way about Basch. I almost feel like I was betrayed, somewhat. I mean, I know that he has an obligation to stay with Ashe, but doesn't he have an obligation to stay with me, too? Didn't he make a promise to protect me? Because I don't see him here, and I know for sure that he wouldn't be the one asking me why I'm writing this letter so fervently. Besides you, who will always be there, I hope, it seems as though I've run out of people who know me. Am I only allotted a certain amount?_

_I wish you were here with me now, because you, Penelo, know what troubles me and how to cheer me up, no matter what._

_Please excuse me. I lost my train of thought again. My head guard glanced over and said, "My lord, I am sure that all that is troubling you is fairly typical to teenagers, people your age seem to blow things a little out of proportion…"_

_As if that was supposed to help. And no, the things that are troubling me are not typical to teenagers. In fact, I'd say about one in a million "people my age" have to be married off to Rozarrian princesses that they couldn't care less for. In fact, I think I'd be pretty safe to say that I'm the only one. And that it's pretty safe to say that I'm not blowing this out of proportion._

_As you may be able to tell, this isn't any easier for me than it is for you._

_But when you rule a country, you just have to pretend it is._

_I can't wait to see you again, because I know that we're going to celebrate._

_Our last hurrah._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	24. Letter Twenty-Four

_Dear Larsa,_

_I know I probably don't have to tell you how good it felt to rush into your arms the moment you got off of your airship. I hope you felt as good as I did when I laid eyes on you once more. You've grown up so much since I last saw you—you might actually be taller than me now. But it felt so good to be in the arms of my companion, my knight in shining armor, my confidant, my best friend, after a year of not seeing you. When I met you, I never could have imagined that it would be so hard to be without you, or to feel so good to be reunited with you._

_I do believe that I spotted your head guard, for he seemed quite startled by my sudden appearance and quite confused as you handed me a letter, but I didn't care. I never have. It felt good to read your letter, as it always has, but it felt even better to hear your voice and to hear you say to me, "I've missed you so much," because I think I've wanted to hear you say that since the moment you left. I've been wearing your necklace every day since you gave it to me, it's so terribly special to me that it feels as though it is a part of me, sometimes. Ashe asked me about it once, and I told her the story. She was quite impressed, I must say, and I was just as proud as I have always been to have you as my companion, even if I only get to spend time with you once a year._

_I suppose I really don't have to tell you how these last three days have been, do I? These are the best times of my life, and every moment spent with you is so bittersweet. But I'm only experiencing the latter part right now, because I can't stand to be bitter when you're around. I suppose I don't really have to tell you how much I love spending this time with you, even if it is our last week together, but I should probably explain what happened at the wedding._

_You and I were seated, luckily, for hoards of Rabanastre's people wanted to witness the marriage of their Queen. They stood in every place they could, filling the streets. I enjoyed dressing up a bit, I must admit, and Ashe provided me with a lovely red dress to wear. She insisted that it was nothing special, but I heard talk that she had it specially made for me. Anyway, I won't waste ink talking about dresses and such things. There are some explanations due. As the ceremony began, I heard an airship, and I knew. Vaan was here. I knew that in the end, there was no way he could keep himself from her wedding. I suppose, in retrospect, I knew all along that he was in love with her. I suppose I always knew, in the back of my mind. But it got pushed away by everything else that I have been thinking about, lately. Vaan and his love for Ashe were pretty far down on the list, I admit._

_The priest was well into his spiel and I still hadn't seen Vaan anywhere. I remembered what you said about having a hunch that her wedding was to be disrupted, so I was a bit worried. Was he okay? I asked myself. I was more worried about Vaan than I have been in a long, long time. It was then that it really surfaced in my mind that he loved her. It all made sense. Suddenly, I excused myself. I walked through the row of white chairs, impolitely pushing past many people. I knew where he was, but I had no idea what he was thinking. I pushed my way through the crowded streets to the East End, where I entered the empty Sandsea. It was then that I began to wonder why my instincts had led me here, but it was far too late to be questioning myself. I soon figured out that it was terribly hard to get up stairs (especially the old ones at the Sandsea) in a dress, and I realized why Ashe hates them so much. They're terribly hard to move around in._

_Sure enough, my sky pirate friend was standing on top of the Sandea roof, leaning on the chimney and watching the wedding. It was almost like a scene from a painting, his back was turned to me and his wind was blowing in his hair as he surveyed the city below._

" _What are you doing up here?" I asked softly, to the point I wasn't even sure if he heard me._

" _I could ask you the same thing, Penelo." He said, without turning around, before adding in a slightly nasty voice, "I thought you had a wedding to attend to."_

" _I thought you had an obligation to her." I said, rushing up to the edge of the roof, to look him in the eye._

" _Obligation? What obligation does a sky pirate have to his Queen?" He said, narrowing his eyes._

" _You are not just any sky pirate, and she is more to you than Queen!" I shouted. I was so angry at him, for letting this go, I really didn't know what to do._

" _She has far more obligation to her country than I do to her!" He yelled back, over the wind._

" _Which is why you should abandon her? Vaan, you can't just keep running away!"_

" _I'm not running away! I'm just doing what's right!" And his words stung a little bit, because I knew that maybe he was right. Maybe he was fulfilling his obligation to his Queen, but not the one he loved._

" _You—you promised her!" I said, hurt. No one had told me, but I knew. "Are you willing to let her go?"_

_He narrowed his eyes. I knew the conversation was finished. "It's not about whether I'm willing, Penelo. It's about convincing myself and everyone else that I am. No matter what you say, I'm doing what's right. I'm not interfering with that wedding. This is what she wants."_

" _Vaan—you're so stupid. All she-" I cut myself off, and I turned around and walked out. I couldn't stand to be there any longer. He didn't need to hear it from me. He already knew._

_I'm really worried for him. But I'm so frustrated, I don't know how much of it I can take. All that's worth mentioning now is that Ashe's wedding went smoothly, as planned, and while she and Basch are on their honeymoon, Vaan is on an airship with a former Kiltias, flying the skies in the hopes that he'll be far enough that he won't be able to think about her anymore. It's so painful to watch him let her go, because I know that two years from now I'll have to let you go, too. But Vaan and I, well, Vaan and I are different. But I can't even begin to imagine how hard it will be to let you go, after all this time..._

_I know now, without a doubt, that I will never find a love like this._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	25. Letter Twenty-Five

_Dear Penelo,_

_Even as I put pen to paper, after all we've been through, I realize now that there are still some things that are hard to say. This is one of them. And so with this letter I bring a rose, to remind you of a promise I've made to you in the past, three times over. You will always be the one who has my heart, no matter what the gods above must put us through._

_But I really can't try and soften the blow anymore, lest I fail miserably. Penelo, I have terrible news. At the end of the week, I'll fly off to the Rozarrian capital, to be married._

_Al-Cid and I can see no other option. With my presence on Dalmascan ground, the citizens of Rozarria are growing restless, and rebel groups are beginning to break out, for they fear that I will bring my army to tear across Dalmascan soil while her Queen is on her honeymoon. Which was why Ashe didn't accompany us in this particular meeting, but we figured it was a fairly plausible excuse. The point is, the Rozarrians aren't happy to have me this close, so the time has come faster than I could have imagined, the time to make up my mind and do what's right. Even though I can't stand to think about it. It's hard for me, to know that at this time next week I will be married to someone I barely know. When I had imagined it up until now, I at least had another year and a half before I had to really worry about it. But here I am, fourteen and engaged to be married. This week was supposed to be the best week of my life! I was supposed to celebrate my fourteenth birthday with you, but now I'm not sure I can get this off my mind for long enough to enjoy myself._

_Which is why I suppose I'm writing to you, Penelo. Every great ruler—no—everyone should have someone like you. You can find hope for me, even when I don't see it myself. You always make me smile, even when I didn't think it possible. If I thought that you couldn't pull me out of this rut I'm in, I would not write to you. Because it's you, Penelo, that brings me hope in times like these._

_To hear the contents of your conversation with Vaan is truly, truly heartbreaking. Perhaps he, too, feels that same obligation, that same strength that you, Ashe and I feel, to know what it's like to sacrifice something for the greater good. Truly, I think this may be the hardest thing I've ever done. To know that I am so close—so close to living the perfect life with you by my side, so close that it seems just within reach, only to remind myself that I must give you—you, my companion, my confidant, my hope-bringer…my best friend—I must give you up because that is the right thing to do. I am so close to this dream, this love—that I know that I will never do anything as heartbreaking as this._

_And I suppose it would be easier to run away, like Vaan. To flee the scene and commit to neither side. But I—I have a different obligation than Vaan. There are people who depend on my leadership—my inner strength, to the point that their very lives depend on it. I can't run away, because I could not live with myself if I did. I was born to lead this country, even in its darkest times, and I know because of you that maybe I can change the world for the better, because of everything that I've learned from you. The world will never be the same, because of the mark that you and I left two years ago. Because you changed me, and maybe I changed you, too. All of this, it's hard. I really wish—more than anything I've ever desired—that it would be you and I in the end, Penelo. But as I put pen to paper and watch the ink dry on the page, I feel as though that it won't happen like that. I feel as though there is nothing I can do, there is nothing you can do, and there is nothing we can do to stop this course of events, because I picked the right thing to do. And you did the same._

_But—we're strong, aren't we? Maybe we'll pull through this, and we'll be friends in the end. I'll write you until my dying day, and no foreign wife can stand in the way of you and I, Penelo, because you're right. We'll never find a love like this. We could search to the ends of the world, but I know I will never find anyone else that can make me smile like you do, pull me out of my darkest times, and somehow still love me like you do. I'm bringing you a rose, to remind you of a promise made three times over, a good luck charm, and the journey that we've been through these past two years. Because the best things in life come with thorns, and the hardest part of loving you is having to give you up._

_I'm bringing you a rose, as I invite you to join me for a late meal, as the rest of Rabanstre sleeps._

_Because I know it's going to take an awful long time for me to say goodbye._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	26. Letter Twenty-six

_Dear Larsa,_

_I know that this will be the hardest goodbye I will ever have to say. In a morbid sort of way, I wish that I had to say goodbye to anyone but you. But I promise that I will savor every single moment that I spend with you now, because this is the kind of thing that memories are made of. This is the kind of thing that I want to tell my descendants about, so maybe they will realize when love stumbles upon them as well. So unlikely, we are, but somehow so perfectly tragic our story is. How I wish that perhaps we could have a happy ending, like the stories I was told about love._

_And I realize that we are a part of no fairytale. As wonderful as this is, this is reality, and with reality comes pain and loss and letting go of people you care about, even though it's hard._

_But for tonight, I got to taste what it might be like to be with you for the rest of my life._

_And here I am, lying awake, alone._

_The Sandsea was strangely deserted, but I didn't think about it, nor care. We dined by candlelight, and for the first few moments, I was jealous of the young woman that will dine with you every night for the rest of your life together. For those first few moments, it was hard to overcome, but you began speaking, and suddenly I slipped into a wonderful world of pretend, letting myself believe that this was only the beginning. I know all good things must come to an end someday, but why so soon?_

" _This is the hardest thing I've ever done." You said softly, not looking away. And that meant a lot to me, because I know that even though you're only fourteen, nearly fifteen now, you've had to do a lot of hard things. You've had to lose your entire family, because of your brother vying for power and glory, and you had to aid in his murder, the only family you really had left. And because of that, I know what we feel is true, because somehow letting go of me is harder._

" _Me too," I said softly back, as the candle flickered, but my words didn't seem to suffice. There was a long silence, but it was not forced, nor awkward. We were just—thinking. Thinking of how exactly to phrase what we had to say, because I know I had to say a lot. There's not much time left for you and I. "It hurts," I said softly, glancing downward slightly, "To know that we're this close to that—that sought-after happy ending."_

_You sighed. "That's what everyone's looking for. Everyone wants a love as true as ours, yet we are probably the only ones on this world that cannot live it out as we choose."_

" _I'll always dream about what we could have been." I said, trying my best to mask my bitterness, but failing._

" _Don't miss what we could have been," You instructed, a little strength returning to your voice, "Miss what we are. Because even if we could, I don't think we could find anything greater than this."_

" _To have a best friend like you." I said, smiling despite myself. And then, you pulled out the rose. Oh, the rose._

" _For my best friend, my companion, my correspondent, my love." You said, and I felt my eyes fill with tears as I took it softly in my hands. "Because the thorns should never stop us from seeing the rose." I have never seen a more perfect rose. I doubt that I ever will. I pulled my napkin off my lap and wiped my eyes very unpolitely, but I didn't care. As I set it back down, with my left hand I swiftly pulled my hair clip out of my hair. Fashioned out of silver in the shape of a small flower, a forget-me-not, it had a small diamond set in the middle, and it was my most prized possession._

" _This was my mother's." I began, but I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, so I continued, "I want you to have it, so you won't forget me." Your fingers touched the metal, your warm hand brushing against mine, a tingling sensation filling my body. You took it slowly, as if not wanted to accept such a grand and precious gift, but when your hand left it wasn't the same._

" _Just look at us, Penelo…look how far we've come from where we've been," You said, standing up and walking around the table to where I was seated. As I stood up, I realized that you are taller than me now. It seemed like a sudden, random thought, but I didn't care._

" _We're so close…" I whispered, "But we'll never be able to have this…" But for a moment, I almost let myself believe…almost believing that this is what we were meant for. And in a moment I was in your arms, your lips against mine, believing in our own special fairytale._

_I was determined to spend tonight on the stars, knowing that I would have to spend the rest of my life down on this earth._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	27. Letter Twenty-seven

_Dear Penelo,_

_As tragic as it is, this letter is my last goodbye. When I heard your footsteps pass my door, I knew what it meant. I waited a moment, and after you had returned to your room, I slowly walked over to the door and sure enough, I discovered your letter._

_Last night was—everything I wanted it to be. No, that's not quite it. If it had been everything I wanted it to be, it would be the beginning—the beginning of a life with you. But it wasn't, and it's not._

_Today we're packing up to leave, and I hate it. I hate it, because it feels like I'm running away. Like I'm leaving something behind. I may be leaving you behind, but I'm not running away. I hate this—leaving you, when it feels as though in my mind, I've missed the answer, the answer that would lead me to you. And I can't help but fathom if there was ever a way around this ending. If I could have changed the fact that we were going to end up this way._

_There was once a time that I was perfectly content in just writing to you, a long distance relationship that crossed countries and all the barriers that stood between us. But if this is indeed the kind of love that the rest of the world seeks, then it has grown over the years. My older brother once told me that no one is indispensable, but I know now, without a doubt, that that is untrue. As I'm packing, I'm preparing to leave the one that is truly indispensable to me, and I know that I will never do anything as painful as this._

_If home is where the heart is, then today I am leaving my home, never to return._

_Tomorrow morning, I will say goodbye for the very last time, and I will give you this letter._

_I've kept all of your letters—every single one of them—and in times like these I read them over. And I see now, that even then, you were indispensable to me. You were the one thing that kept me going when it was hard. When the things of this world brought me down, I knew that I could write to you, and for a little while, everything would seem so much better. I felt I could take on the world as I read your words off the page. And for a while, I did. But because we are truly and exactly a tale of tragic love, I soon found out that I was to be married. I found out that I would have to let you go._

_I hate to say this, but in retrospect, I wish that for once, I could have been selfish. That I could have turned down the proposal, and for once chosen what was best for me, and not my country. I sometimes wonder how things would be if I had done that, but I always conclude that it's impossible to know. If there is one thing in my past that I regret more than any other, it is giving up love for the sake of my country._

_What a beautiful tragedy._

_Today and tomorrow will be full of "our last"s. Our last glance, our last smile, our last moment alone, our last instant of total understanding, our last gaze, our last words. And we'll never be the same._

_Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of your hairclip. I'm glad, in a way, that I have something so beautiful to remind me of you as the years move along. It hurts to wonder if I'll slowly begin to forget your face, your voice, how your hair feels in my hands. I wonder if I will ever forget how beautiful your eyes look, staring straight into mine across the candlelight. I wonder if it is a blessing or a curse, to discover a love like this._

_I will keep your letters for the rest of my life. I hope that I will read them a thousand times over and remember what it feels like, to be safe in the arms of a companion, a confidant, a friend. Twenty-four hours from now, I will be on an airship, speeding through the skies to a foreign land that I once knew as an enemy, to walk upon soil that is not my own, to marry a girl I have never met. I'm frightened, but any feeling of fear I have is eclipsed by something I only know as dread, as despair, as disappointment—in the gods and in myself. My life has been completely turned upside down in the past three years, and it's hard to believe that I've come this far. I hate looking back, but there are times when I wish I could go back to the beginning and watch our love grow, from the instant that I saw you to this moment when I have to let you go. Our story was crafted and created by our own hands, a masterpiece we shared._

_I just looked outside the window, only to discover that it's raining. I don't think I've ever seen Rabanastre in the rain like this, and you must admit that there is a certain air of elegance about it. How a city so grand can continue to be beautiful as the rain falls and the lightning strikes and the thunder roars. Life and love goes on._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	28. Letter Twenty-eight

_Dear Larsa,_

_I think I might be crazy._

_In fact, I'm pretty sure I am._

_But if I am, then I'm too crazy to care._

_I should probably relate to you the events of the past few days, because I'm sure that once you receive this letter, you and the rest of your country (now that I think of it, the world, really,) will want some sort of explanation. But no good explanations start out with the person in question wondering if they're crazy. So I suppose I'm really just writing to you because that's what I always do, in times like these._

_After you left—three days ago, was it?—well, that day was the hardest for me. I couldn't look at my town, my world, my sky the same way, having loved and lost. I thought about you constantly, I could hardly keep myself from crying, and I do believe I was on the verge of a breakdown. But I'm not here to try and make you feel guilty for leaving, I'm here to try and explain to you my state of mind (although I'm still slightly convinced that I'm crazy)._

_The second day was easier. I busied myself at the palace, Ashe and Basch returned from their honeymoon, but I felt odd eating dinner with the newlyweds, so I took my evening meal down in the quarters of the other palace workers instead. After dinner, Ashe called me up to her room, offering tea, and I told her (in a short, condensed, and less emotional form) the events of the last week or so. She seemed to miss out on the part about you and I, however, for I certainly caught her attention when I told about Vaan's appearance (or the lackthereof) at her wedding. And I know now, without a doubt, that I was right. He did run away, he did let her go. But the truth is, really, that they've both left each other behind. So why in the world is it so hard for me?_

_This morning, I found a note on my bedside table. I was startled to recognize Vaan's handwriting, and I was awake and alert immediately. If Vaan was in the city, something must be wrong. I picked up the note and held it up, and sure enough, Vaan instructed me to meet him outside the West Gate. I got dressed and hurried out of the Sandsea immediately, sending word to the Palace that I might not be able to make it to work this morning. I hoped that the head of the kitchen would understand, because I would probably not get special treatment, seeing as Ashe had left for your wedding early this morning._

_I found Vaan standing outside the Aerodome, and before we even greeted each other, I couldn't help but ask him, "Why didn't you come to the Sandsea and get me?"_

" _I—I couldn't set foot in the city. I wrote the note and had Ada leave it there last night." Vaan averted his gaze, unable to make eye contact with me. Then, something seemed to dawn on him and he looked back up, gazing at me. "You, of all people, should understand."_

_My demeanor faltered for a moment, as if someone was stabbing me in the heart, but when the physical pain subsided, I asked angrily, "Then what in the world are you doing here?"_

_He sighed. "Penelo, these past few years, I've learned a lot about love," I looked up, slightly startled at how he began, "but not enough to keep her. Not enough to work it out. You really did get through to me, at her wedding." It was strange, to hear him admit these things, but I suppose that he's grown up, while he's been away. "Which is why I can't let this happen to you."_

" _What?" I asked, not quite understanding._

_Vaan laughed. "I suppose that you think that by letting him go, you're doing the right thing."_

" _But—but I am!" I replied, a combination of angry and confused, concerned by the fact that Vaan would question my judgment._

" _Exactly. You're doing the right thing for everyone else in the world. Because of you, I learned that sometimes, it's okay to pursue what you desire, even if it's not in everyone else's best interests." He swallowed, sad but still smiling all the while. It was strange, but certainly genuine. "I let her go, Penelo. And there's no way I can let you make the same mistake I did."_

" _What the hell to you expect me to do?" I yelled back, shouting. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that there were people staring now, and I lost the angry act and let the tears leak out of the corner of my eyes._

" _Not you, Penelo. We. Us. And since you asked, we're going to go kidnap a young Emperor. And we'd better get a move on, because he's getting married tonight."_

… _And I suppose that's how I found myself here, on Vaan's airship, talking to Ada._

" _Uh..Ada?" I asked, concerned._

" _Yeah?" She said, turning around to where I was seated at the table._

" _What're our best and worst case scenarios here?" I asked, almost afraid to know. She sat across the table from me, stared at me for a moment with her pretty blue eyes, and answered._

" _Well, the best case scenario would be that we successfully kidnap the one you love, thus calling off the wedding. You'll both succumb to your selfish desires and get married, and rule over Archadia for the rest of your long, peaceful lives."_

_How nice she made it sound. How easy, too, might I add._

" _..and the worst?" I asked._

" _Well, considering Vaan's and my own—well—reputation, for the lack of a better term, we'd all three end up in prison for life." She paused, letting her words sink in. "But at least it would be in the name of love."_

_And as we approach the capital city of Rozarria at sunset, I realize that she is right._

_I'm crazy, after all, but at least it's in the name of love._

_Yours truly,_

_Penelo_


	29. Letter Twenty-nine

_Dear Penelo,_

_What a peculiar position we've managed to get ourselves in._

_I must admit, first of all, that I don't think I've stopped thinking of you since I left Rabanastre. But I should probably tell you my side of the story, too, even though you're unconscious right now. I suppose that's the advantage to putting it down in a letter. I'll just give this to you later, when I'm allowed to see you. And I suppose that writing down everything that has happened will probably help it sink into my consciousness, because I think I've having trouble believing it all._

_Yesterday, the day after I arrived, I got to meet my fiancée. Selardi. There's really not much to say about that, though. I was in a meeting with Al-Cid and other Rozarrian leaders (one of many meetings, that's basically all I did yesterday), and she happened to be sitting across from me. She was pretty, at first sight, but she seemed so—empty. Pretty on the outside, but not beautiful, like you. She sat through the entire meeting without saying a word, and even when called upon, she didn't seem to have any opinions of her own. I was intensely annoyed by it, probably from knowing you. Because I know that not all girls are like her. There are the precious, precious few like you that really are strong and really do think for themselves and really do have the capacity to lead. Through the meeting, I had the urge to shout at her and force her to think for herself, but I'm beginning to think that I have more self-control than I originally thought. Her dark eyes seemed to be peering at me throughout the meeting, but her presence only put me in a bad mood. I probably wouldn't have minded her had I not met, befriended and loved you, Penelo, because I will never, ever find anyone like you._

_Last night I pulled your hairclip out of my pocket, and I looked at it for a long, long time. I never let anyone else even catch a glimpse of it. There are things that I can't explain, and the appearance of such an object would call for an explanation. There are things that aren't meant to be explained. I looked at it in the darkness of the empty guest's quarters and asked for a miracle. Considering everything that's happened in the past twelve hours, and everything that's to come, I think I got my miracle._

_Anyway, I got up early this morning and prepared to be married. That was interesting in and of itself, because I was in an extremely foul mood. It was one of those times when I missed having Basch with me, because he would have understood everything I was going through. When I was getting dressed, in my odd cross between a suit and armor, my head guard asked me if I had wedding jitters. I punched the poor man in the face, and he ended up with a bloody nose. He called for a nurse and mumbled something about moody teenagers, before walking out of the room and leaving me alone. I must admit, I was fairly proud of myself._

_After a final meeting with Al-Cid, I headed out to my own wedding. The faces of the crowd were predominantly Rozarrian, though I managed to pick out the Senate, Ashe, Basch and some of her advisors. I admit that at that moment, I wished that you were there, even as I was promising myself away to someone I didn't love (hated, maybe even, at that point). But I didn't see you. In my pocket was your hairclip, and I wished for you one more time before my wedding began._

_I must admit, I had trouble paying attention. Even after Selardi walked down the aisle, an older man resembling Al-Cid accompanying her, the priest's message seemed to drag on and on, and I sort of entered a trance-like state until I heard the roaring of approaching engines. There was a jolt through my body as everyone started to look around for the source of the noise, and I recalled my prayer for a miracle._

_I looked up at the approaching airship, not recognizing it but hoping, still hoping all the while. While I was busy thinking of you, I didn't give a care for the consequences of whatever was about to happen. I just wanted to see you._

_Sure enough, the airship flew lower and lower, the crowd running to get out of the way. I caught a glance from Ashe, who smiled. It was then that I knew for sure. A ramp came out of the bottom of the airship, and I saw you. I could hardly believe it, and I ran forward to meet you. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the crowd ambled back over. After realizing that they weren't in danger, the wanted to know what was going on._

" _Larsa!" You called, and I ran up to the ramp. You were holding a letter, but as I took hold of it, you didn't let go. "I can't let you leave me again." You smiled, shouting over the engines. "For once in my life I'm about to do something selfish." You paused, before stepping closer and saying, "Come with me, or I might feel the urge to kidnap you. After all, you've seen the kind of riffraff I hang around wi—" At that moment, there was a bang of a gun and you were shot in the shoulder, falling into my arms, only then letting go of your letter._

… _And we're in a lovely mess now. You're in the hospital while Vaan and Ada are being held in the dungeons until everyone figures out what the hell is going on. Al-Cid and the leaders are meeting without me, but it doesn't really matter what they want me to do. Since you never really got to follow through with that kidnapping, I'm going to choose to do something selfish, for once in my life. I'm going to call off the wedding, in public, and then I'm going to march up and propose to you in that damn hospital bed, with this letter in hand._

_I think it's the right thing to do._

_Yours truly,_

_Larsa Ferrinas Solidor_


	30. Letter Thirty

_Dear Larsa,_

_I can safely say that I've had one hell of a week. We all have. But it's nice to know that this is only the beginning, the beginning of the rest of my life. My life with you._

_It's sad, really, that I haven't had a chance to write you for a whole week, but getting out of this mess took a lot more time and effort that I originally imagined. But then again, I was crazy. Truthfully, I still am. But at least now I know I won't have to kidnap anyone._

_Getting Vaan and Ada out of prison wasn't easy, either, but with the combined forces of you, Ashe and Al-Cid, the Rozarrain authorities let them go, even though they were holding them on real charges of real crimes that they had actually committed. The two are apparently every bit of pirate that they claim to be. And one must admit, they were too nicely dressed to be completely innocent. Instead of sticking around, they took off to some unknown place, but not before tipping off the authorities as to where to find Balthier and Fran. Shortly after, Vaan told me that Balthier was getting rather bored of skirting the Archadian forces, that the experienced sky pirate was getting tired of living without the risk of being caught. "I'm doing him a favor, I suppose you could say." Vaan had whispered, shrugging._

_I'm physically tired, I think. In the past week, I've been from Dalmasca to Rozarria to here, in Archadia. Not to mention getting shot in Rozarria, and I've decided that that's an experience I would rather not repeat. This whole week has been a whirlwind of adventure, but it's all worth it. It really is._

_So it was a week ago today that I woke up with a note beside my table, instructing me to head to the West Gate. It's hard to believe that all this has happened in just seven days…But a week ago today, well, I'm pretty sure it was the best day of my life. At least, the best day of my life so far. Because now I know I have plenty to look forward to._

_A week ago today I headed out on what turned out to be a stolen airship, to the Rozarrian capital. And I went with the intent of kidnapping you. To be honest, I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen once I we had kidnapped you, but then again, Vaan and I have never really been good at planning ahead. A week ago today, I got shot for the first time and didn't take it too well. Hopefully, that will be the last time. You told me later that it was one of your guards, the head guard, to be specific, that fired the shot. Turns out he was afraid that I was going to capture you and hold you for ransom or kill you or something. I can understand why you're not too terribly fond of him._

_I was out for a while, but I must admit, it's been a long time since I've slept that peacefully. I sorta freaked out when I woke up, because apparently I was pretty drugged up and I woke up somewhere I didn't recognize, but luckily the doctor was nice enough to explain to me what was going on, and now that I was awake, there was someone who wanted to see me. Despite the large amount of drugs and spells in my bloodstream, I knew that it was you who had come._

_It was so nice to see you. I think that maybe just seeing you with that smile on your face, that letter in your hand, I could have been happy for the rest of my life. I didn't care that I had a weird facial expression on my face and I probably looked like a wreck, I just cared that now, I was with you. Everything was going to be okay, no matter what._

_And you handed me that letter to read. I read your story of hairclips, weddings and miracles, and my eyes slowly worked their way down the page. You dismissed the doctor, and I read the last few lines over and over again before everything really sunk in. When the meaning of the words finally punctured the layer of shock around my mind, I laid the letter down on my lap to discover that you were on one knee, for the fourth time in my life. Only this time, you had a ring._

" _I promised to protect you three years ago." You said slowly, "And you know that. I've promised to protect you twice, since then, in times when you needed reassurance. But now, you and I need more than that. I promised I would protect you, but today, I promise to love you until the day I die."_

_And after all we've been through, every moment of pain was worth it, just to hear your promise._

_And I promise that I, Penelo, am yours._

_Truly._

**The End**


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